


Behind a Coolkid's Shades

by Prince_Darkcloud, UnshadowedHeart



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Hospitalization, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:45:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Darkcloud/pseuds/Prince_Darkcloud, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnshadowedHeart/pseuds/UnshadowedHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Latula is the raddest kid in school without not a care in the world. Or so it seems to everyone else. An odd friendship is formed between Latula and history teacher Dirk when she catches him with the gym teacher and attempts to blackmail him, only for it to get blown back in her face. As the two get to know more about each other, their relationship gets dicey and maybe just slightly illegal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coolkids and Cockblocks

**Author's Note:**

> another collab between me n my best bro. enjoy

As the raddest gamer girl in the school, Latula wasn't usually worried about her schoolwork. She had a reputation to uphold and home life and relationships to juggle on top of that. But seeing that she had just entirely flunked a test that was worth a good portion of her grade, she figured she should actually go and try to make it up.

Jiggling the doorknob of her history teacher's door, she found it locked. Which was interesting and puzzling, seeing as his light was on. Without any regard for privacy, Latula busted out a bobby pin and picked the lock easily, and then strode right in.

The history teacher in room 314 was one of the coolest and hardest teachers in school. He was an enigmatic figure that was loved and simultaneously feared by most of the students, even the ones that didn't tend to come to school on a regular basis. He'd received several awards and was the best history teacher in the state. And here he was, scrambling to tuck in his shirt as his companion worked to get his belt fastened.

"Thought you were a no show."

Nasty thoughts went through Latula's mind. The best was blackmail. She leered at her teacher and smirked, arms crossing. "Whoa, cowboy, I'm not even five minutes late, heheh... Besides, I was running some rad moves down the rail at the front of the school. Decided maybe I should actually come up to retake that test after all. You get me?" She knew Mr. Strider got Mr. English.

"Didn't matter how later you were. You didn’t seem like the type of girl who'd bother to come back for a retake, so I figured I'd be safe." He figured that the cat was already out of the bag, or rather it'd gone running off to his student's arms, so he figured that giving Mr. English a slap on the ass as he scampered out of the classroom was still a good idea. "Apparently I guessed wrong. First time for everything I suppose." He went behind the desk. "Now, I could hand you the test, but I'm pretty sure you're just going to blackmail me out of taking it, am I right?"

"I'll take a B plus please." An A and her guardian might get suspicious; much better to just go for a B. Then she could be incredibly proud of herself, and there wouldn't be too much investigation into the matter. "I figure I can just leave you to fill out my test with eighty rad answers correct."

"I'll give you a B minus." He pulled his grade book out of the drawer and started flipping through the pages, looking for the correct entry. "Let's see...Pyrope...Pyrope...ah, found it." He grabbed his red pen and popped the cap off, sending it flying right at Latula.

Latula ducked to the left and stood with an attitude betraying her smugness. At least her high F was being raised to a C by this. She was totally rubbing this in her guardian's face. Who said she couldn't pass history this year? Well, even if she needed to bust out some blackmail, she could still do it.

Dirk raised his head. "Are you still here for a reason? Want me to give you a back massage? Rub your feet? School's over, you can go now. I'm not keeping you here." He shut the book and put it away. "Though I'd appreciate it if you could return my pen cap."

Latula leaned down and grinned, cupping it in her palm. "Nah, I'll keep it." It didn't accomplish anything, it was nothing but a minor nuisance to her teacher, but she wanted to prove, in whatever little way, that she was the one in charge. "I'll catch you later!" She swung down her board and began skating down the hall, disregarding the teachers that yelled at her.

Dirk stared after her, watching as the door closed. He tossed his red pen in the garbage. Without the cap it'd dry out, but no skin off his bones. He had dozens of the cheap writing implements.

Latula was off to do all her rad things in her rad life. She was the raddest after all. Even if she had to lay it on thick, she wanted everyone to know that she was better off as herself, and no one should pity her- that was her matesprit's job!

\- - -

The next day she returned, confidence shaken slightly. What if Mr. Strider got back at her?

Dirk watched as his class filed in. From what he could tell she'd kept her mouth shut. "Alright class. Turn in your homework and then I'll give you back your tests from Tuesday."

Oh crap, the homework... Oh well. Latula shrugged it off and just kicked back. Her confidence was slowly returning; there was no way that Strider could get her back, she could report him if he did anything to get back! Of course it would all be a very awkward situation, but she had security. She didn't even bother pretending to look like she had done her homework.

Dirk quirked an eyebrow at Latula, wondering how long she was going to milk this thing. "Alright," he continued after the kids turned in their homework, "today we're gonna talk about the asshole known at Christopher Columbus."

Besides the whole blackmail thing, Latula's day was the usual. She paid attention, but only to the things that interested her. And usually none of it did. At the end of class she hopped up to skate off to her next class, then stopped. Maybe she should talk to Mr. Strider...

Dirk was erasing the board when he heard the door creak open again. "Come back to take my class again? Really Miss Pyrope, I'm flattered."

"Oh, ya'know, I was just wondering what you're gonna up and do now that I've caught you red handed in your wicked ways of the booty busting." Latula tabbed her foot, hands itching to grab the board and ride down the hall. She was nervous, but she wanted to stay and hear answers; for what, she didn't know.

"Latula, I really don't have time with this. My next class starts in 3 minutes." He looked up and saw the first couple students start to meander in. "Out. Out, out, out! I'm busy. Go loiter in the halls a little longer." He closed the door behind him and went back to his desk. "Make it quick, I can't humor you all day."

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to prove how really rad you are," Latula replied with a grin, hands on her hips. "Ya'know... Let's see some grinding." However he took that, she was cool with it. He always bragged about how 'with it' he was with the youths of today, she wanted him to prove himself.

Dirk was almost taken aback for a moment. He didn't let it show, however. He leaned back against his desk. "Wherever I rank on the scale of rad will be determined on my own time. Whilst conducting secret shenanigans of my own. Now, I have a class to teach." He waved her off. "If you want to bother me, come see me during your lunch. I'm not staying late on my friday, fuck that." He went over to the board and began scribbling down the lesson for the next class.

Latula would take that as a yes. She whipped out her board and shredded down the hall, far too fast to be safe. She had a date at lunch, it seemed.

Dirk sighed, running a hand through his hair as the next class filed in. "Alright, class let's get this class started. I've had enough bullshit, and I'm sure you have too. So let's get this party started so you can get out of here and go to lunch."

Latula blew off her class before lunch so she could eat behind the school and pump up for the coming showdown. She was going to show Strider just how rad she could get, no holds bar. She skated down to the history room and flipped her board up before knocking.

Dirk went to the door and opened it, allowing her to step inside before closing it after her. "I'm amazed they haven't confiscated that thing yet." He remembered authority being a lot harsher when he was a student. Granted he hadn't listened, but they were quite a bit more intimidating than the fat, lazy morons of today.

"I know the security," Latula cackled as she flipped up her board and leaned against his desk. "You ready to get rad with me, old man?" She was pushing buttons now; Strider was barely out of teaching school, he was one of the newest assets and the most prodigal, too.

He rolled his eyes. He knew she was challenging him to perform a feat on her board. But he thought it'd be more fun to mess with the girl. He had preemptively closed the blinds, just in case anyone got the wrong idea. He trapped Latula between his broad chest and the wall behind her. "You think you can handle this old man, little girl?"

Okay. There wasn't a lot that could freak Latula out. But that was one of the things. "What are you doing?" She tried to keep her voice level, not betraying the fear behind her eyes. She was glad for her shades, just like she was glad for Strider's shades too. She didn't have to see what he was thinking behind those shades.

He leaned in so his breath would ghost over her ear. "You said you wanted to see some grinding? See just how rad I could be..." He got close enough so that with just the slightest movement they'd rub up against each other, but he didn't touch her. He wasn't interested in little girls; he just wanted to mess with her.

Latula froze up, eyes darting around to find some way to escape. She needed to get the hell out of there. Maybe she could knee him in the crotch and escape? No, no... Better to seduce him and make a run for it. She smirked up at him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "You sure you want to go head to head with the raddest of the rad?"

He smirked right back at her. "You should be asking yourself that, because baby, there's no one radder than me." He leaned in, as if to kiss her, but let her go instead, going back to his desk, as if nothing had happened.

Latula didn't even wait to see him back away. She ripped down on her skateboard, tripping up and taking a tumble, instead grabbing her board and running on feet. She was glad no one had been around to see that.

As soon as she was gone, Dirk let out a chortle. Seeing her so frazzled over a bit of teasing was absolutely priceless. Maybe now she'd leave him alone and drop the whole blackmailing thing.

Latula was her own, single cattle stampede, nearly mowing down one of the big-wigs in school, who was on her way to visit another teacher.

"Watch it you shrimp!" The youngest principal to ever grace the halls of the school had been gracelessly shoved aside by an upset 16-year-old girl with a serious attitude problem. Meenah huffed before continuing on her way to the teacher's lounge. If she hurried, she might just catch him~

Mr. Vantas was in the teachers' lounge, helping himself to a piping hot pot of coffee. He was sitting alone, enjoying his solitude (and ignoring the gut feeling of loneliness) and going over papers, finding that his students were all idiots.

He didn't have very long to himself, as Meenah, silent as the grave, popped up behind him. "Sup Shouty." She reached forward and took the paper he was looking at, chuckling at all the red marks. "I see all your dumb ass kids are failing, huh."

"Yeah, what's it to you?" Karkat demanded, voice a little louder than need be. "Why are you in here, Peixes? You should be off terrifying dipshit students, not harassing me."

"Harassing you is way more fun than picking on those retarded midgets." She was so glad her coworker didn't take lunch till later. Otherwise she'd be getting an earful of obnoxious, misplaced social justice instead of the irritated shoutings of her adorable inferior.

"It's not their fucking fault they're dumbasses," Karkat sighed as he shielded his papers from Meenah's watchful eye. "Why are you here, anyway? You have principal duties to attend to so you should get the fuck out of here."

"I'm on lunch. I can do what I want. Besides, it's not like I can do a damn thing. I'm not some empress reigning over my land of moronic underlings." She came around and sat on the couch beside him, leaning her back against his side and, more or less, forcing him to stop what he was doing.

"Yeah, you're right, you're like a witch reigning over an empire with your tyranny," Karkat muttered, hopefully too quiet for Meenah to hear. He didn't have to deal with this, he was supposed to be helping his students.

"If I didn't think you were one of the coolest guys here I'd have had you fired ages ago." In fact, Karkat's company was something she looked forward to daily.

Karkat knew he had stumbled upon a rare feat; a principal who he could curse at and yell at whenever he wanted in the way he usually did, without getting fired. He was very thankful for it. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Looks like you're being summoned by one of your brats." She put an elbow on his shoulder, pointing a painted nail over at a blonde kid wearing shades.

Damn. It was Strider. Karkat sighed and put his papers away before snatching up his mug of coffee and running to see his student. He needed the coffee in case he needed to 'accidentally' splash it all over the younger of the Striders' crotch. "Yes, Strider?"

"Got a question for you." He held out his Trig assignment for Karkat to see. "I need help with this; you got a minute?"

"Strider, you know I'm not your goddamned teacher anymore, go have Captor help you!" Then again, this would be a great way to show Sollux up- he was always bragging about his /'smart'/ students. Yeah right. Just a snootier bunch of assholes.

"If I wanted his help I'd ask for it." He came in and sat down beside Meenah, nodding at her in acknowledgement. He knew he was putting himself between her and Karkat, and that had been his intention. He hadn't planned on going in, but seeing her hanging all over him like that annoyed him, and he wanted to break that up.

"Fine, fine, whatever. What do you want help with? Because if it's something fucking stupid then I'm going to have to kick you the fuck out and make you come back later." Karkat had better things to do than tutor Dave for shit he didn't even know half as well as his cohort did.

Dave put the trig homework down on the table. "I don't remember how to solve these. It'd be cool if you could review it for me." He scooted a bit closer to Karkat, waiting for his help.

Karkat sighed and tried to help Dave out with the work. "Did you bring a damn calculator?" The work was probably impossible without one.

Dave shoved his hand into his bag, not turning away, and pulled one out a moment later. He put it on the table, scooting another inch closer to Karkat to do so.

"Alright, that's better... Now hurry up, punch in the numbers. Then hit tangent. Divided by that number. There's your fucking answer." Karkat refused to believe that Dave really needed his help for something like this.

Dave sat there and worked on them agonizingly slow. He'd usually spend his time with his teacher in stoic enjoyment, but the principle was weirding him out, mainly with how she was glaring at him.

Sensing the animosity in the air, Karkat tried to hurry them along. "Okay, Strider, this is taking too long, you can come back to me after school, now get the fuck out."

"Hey, teach, this is serious business here." He protested as he was literally pushed out of the teacher's lounge once again. He looked back and saw Meenah smiling at him in victory, giving him a snooty little wave.

"I don't care, you can come back later." Karkat didn't need two people creeping on him. He probably should have used the piping hot coffee.

"I'll keep you to that, but if I catch you getting hot and heavy with the principal, I'm going straight to the board and getting her ass fired for sexual harassment." He warned as he walked away, shoving his math into his bag.

"If only..." It was...slightly disturbing, hearing that Dave would only report Meenah. "I think I'll go...grade my papers elsewhere..."

\- - -

It was finally the end of another long day. Dirk was packing up his stuff and putting his computer in his bag. When he looked up, his friend was already waiting for him in the doorway.

"So, uh, what happened with that broad after we bumped uglies?" Even though, technically, he and Dirk hadn't actually gotten around to it. Jake, smiled nervously, hoping for the best. He didn't want to get fired...

Dirk grinned as he got up, walking with Jake out the door. "Oh yeah, she tried blackmailing me. She wanted me to prove just how 'rad' I was. Plus the boring grade changing stuff. Kids these days are so unoriginal." He locked the door behind him. "Of course I got her back for it though."

“Oh? What did you go and do now, Strider?" Jake put his hands on his hips as he followed after Dirk, eager to hear the next installment. "You didn't do anything unnecessarily cruel, did you?"

"Depends on your definition of cruel." Was cruel calling someone a mean name? Or was cruel throwing your younger sibling off the roof of the apartment building? "She wanted to see if I could _grind.”_

"Oh, like on that board of hers! Did you fall down?"

His smirk grew as he turned onto Jake's street. "That's what she meant, but that's not how I decided to take it."

"I don't understand, what did you mean instead?" Jake wasn't usually so dense, but he also wasn't quite up to the best slang of the modern day. He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked over to the house. "Do you want to come in and we can romp?" Yet he seemed to be so acquainted with his own brand of slang, at the same time.

"You thought we'd do otherwise?" He parked and got out of the car, leaving his stuff in the trunk and strutting up to Jake's door. "Hurry up and unlock so I can show you the other way to grind."

It took Jake a moment, but he got it that time. "Ohhhhhh! Good by me, chap, let's tussle!" Jake gladly let himself be lead in, the door closing behind them.

The second the door was closed, Dirk was on him, lips attacking Jake's as his hands balled up in his companion's shirt, pushing him up against the wall.

Jake was kissing back just as eagerly, nipping at his lips and rolling them over so he could do the same for Dirk, tossing their clothes off.

Downstairs, the previously closed door was thrown open and a tipsy blond ran through the doorway. "Heeeey, boys!" She slurred, dashing for the stairs immediately. She knew where they were, and she would get up that mountain to meet her friend- she didn't care if that mountain took her all day to climb! Plus she had Jane to help her if she needed it. Which she did.

Jane stayed right behind Roxy making sure she didn't fall down again. They'd been celebrating her promotion, but as most things do whenever Roxy's involved, it got a tad out of hand alcohol wise.

The boys didn't hear her. Not right away, anyhow. Dirk brought his hands up to tug at Jake's hair, hips grinding feverishly against his lover's.

Roxy busted in on the boys and immediately hung onto both of them. She didn't care if they were missing clothes, she wanted to celebrate with them. "I'm so glad I caught you guys before the -hic- fun started!"

"Roxy!" Jake was flustered as the girl hung on both him and Dirk.

Dirk didn't particularly care who saw his naked body, but Janey would have a heart attack and Jake was already having his own little conniption. He grabbed the blanket and covered both himself and Jake best he could. "So, what's going on?"

"Roxy!" Jane came in and gasped, hands going to cover her face. "Roxy, give them some privacy! They're both in the _nude_ for crying out loud!"

Roxy didn't really seem to care that the two boys were nude. She wanted to celebrate. She was making this extremely apparent. "Come oooon, boys, let's go down and have a drink! You two can bump uglies later!" She wanted to share a martini with her favorite boys in the whole wide world.

"R-Roxy, no!"

"Sure thing Roxy. But I can't properly enjoy a drink wearing nothing but a bed sheet. I have to at least be wearing my special drinking hat." Dirk silently wondered if Roxy was beyond comprehending sarcasm yet. Either way, Jane was already tugging her out of the room.

"Just let them get dressed!"

"They can drink with me nude, I don't mind!"

Jake flushed angrily and turned away. The mood was totally ruined. He ran to the dresser to get his clothes, embarrassed that Roxy and Jane had seen him naked. He regretted living with one girl who had no shame, and another girl who seemed to always walk in at the most inopportune times.

"Roxy, Jane, I love you guys, but seriously. Out. Now." He got up and pushed the girls out of the room, closing and locking the door behind him. "Second time in one day. I'd say that's a new record, English."

"Is that something to be proud of or not?" Jake wasn't actually sure or not if being interrupted while about to have sex was a good or a bad thing. On one hand, they didn't get to have sex, but on the other hand, they got to spend time with their friends. But they also didn't get to have sex.

"Well, getting blueballed is nothing new, but getting caught at school is a first. We should try and be more careful or the school board will have my head on a plate if rumors get 'round." He tugged on his pants, not worrying about underwear just then.

"I'm more worried about that lass who you bamboozled earlier today!" What if she ran off and told everyone about how homosexual the teachers were? Was that important to kids now, these days? Homosexuals?

"No one would believe her anyway." He briefly took off his shades and tugged on his shirt. "Don't worry, I got it under control. She's having too much fun blackmailing me anyway."

"Alright, alright, if you say so..." Jake figured it would just be better if he didn't get involved, Dirk generally knew what he was doing, and usually without anyone's help, too. "Well, shall we join the ladies downstairs for a spot of appletinis?" No doubt Roxy would get to making one of those- they were her favorite.

"Well, at this point, I'd be amazed if she could tell an appletini from dishwasher fluid. Something big must've happened, she's completely smashed." He pulled open the door and found the girls skulking in the doorway.

"She, um, she wouldn't leave." Jane explained.

Jake awkwardly took Roxy's hand and urged her downstairs to help her sober up a bit, trying to get something out of her. She kept babbling on about the difference between a martini and an appletini, and he had no idea what she was talking about. He decided to tune it out and imagine what he and Dirk would be doing later than night.

Dirk offered an elbow to Jane, always one to be a gentleman with his lady friends, and assisted her somewhat tipsy self down the stairs as well. He figured it would be nice to start off the weekend with a night of drinking with his closest friends.

Roxy was cut off for a couple hours, stuck with soda until everyone else let it slip that it was alright again. She and Jake ended up slumped together on the couch. Jake hadn't even tried to romance Dirk again. There was no point if whisky dick was involved.

Dirk had Jane's head resting in his lap. He was gently stroking her hair, as he was the last one to pass out. His mind had wandered over the events of earlier that day and the day before. He wasn't the type to actively doubt himself, but he did realize that he was only human and mistakes are only natural. He just hoped that his earlier decision to mess with his student's head wouldn't come around to bite him in the ass.


	2. Notice me, Sensei

Latula didn't fare quite as well as her teacher seemed to. She was...terribly confused. And more than half the time she kept wondering if Mr. Strider had done that on purpose- what if he _wasn't_ just trying to teach her a lesson!? And she really wanted to know what was really going on. She was incredibly confused, but she didn't want to bother many people with it. One of the few people she didn't mind bothering, however, was Porrim.

When Latula had appeared on her front porch Saturday morning, Porrim was hardly surprised to see her. She already had an idea why her radical friend was standing on her doorstep, but she wouldn't say anything unless Latula brought it up first. She was happy that her friend could really let her guard down around her, but that also meant that she was the one that Latula always came to when she was having problems. "Want some coffee? My sister just brewed it."

"Yeah, I'll have some." Latula could never smell the coffee, but she loved the taste of it. She sat down and readily accepted the mug handed to her, sipping at it every few moments. "At school one of the teachers came onto me after I blackmailed him, and I think he wants to nail me."

"Is he hot?" She asked, sitting down in the comfy chair and crossing her tattooed legs. The most important questions came first, details later.

“I guess so, I mean, I'd consider it if he weren't my teacher." Latula noticed an incense stick burning at the window and inhaled deeply despite knowing how she couldn't smell it. She turned back to Porrim and stared into her coffee.

"Which teacher are you talking about? What happened exactly?" She asked over the lip of her coffee cup. She'd had her fair share of...encounters with teachers, and she also knew which ones would just joke around and which ones would actually go for the gold.

"Strider," Latula replied immediately, without a second thought. "I mean, I am ninety nine point nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine," she took a breath, "nine nine nine nine percent sure that he is fucking with me. But also what if he like...wants to...fuck with me?"

"I don't mean to interrupt what I'm sure is a personal discussion meant to only be had between two female companions, but after hearing about your problem and who it pertains to, I couldn't help but feel the need to interject."

"Kankri, what have I told you about entering my house without my knowing?" Porrim put down her coffee and folded her arms.

"Ah, yes, you've brought up the issue several times, but I don't think now would be an opportune time to discuss it. If you wish to delve further into that particular topic, make note of it and we can revisit the subject at a later time."

Latula groaned as she saw Kankri, but also saw it as an opportunity to talk to him about the issue as well. As idiotic and ridiculously longwinded as he was, he also made her think about a lot of things! "Kankri, I hate to ask, I mean...I _really_ hate to ask, but would you help shed some light on this?"

"Of course, Latula. You're my friend, and it pleases me that you would want to seek council from me on the matter."

"Seek council?" Porrim cocked an incredulous eyebrow. "Kankri, I know you're book smart and all, but you know jack shit about—"

"Now, Porrim, she's asking me, so I'll kindly request that you keep quiet for a moment." he helped himself to a cup of coffee. "Since I came in the middle, I'll ask that you restate your issue clearly so I can be of greater assistance."

"Well, the short of it is that I blackmailed Mr. Strider because he was doing the naughty with Mr. English, and I caught them. When I went in to get my due he pinned me to the wall and tried to nail me." She figured that was a little blunter than Kankri preferred, but she wasn't up for being elegant.

"Before I give you my full opinion on the matter, I invite you to interrupt me at any time during our discussion to tell me whether anything I've said may have offended you in any way, and I will do my best to be sensitive to those subjects."

Porrim rolled her eyes. _'Here we go again,'_ she thought, picking her coffee back up and getting comfortable. This always took a while.

"First and foremost I'd like to express my disdain both at such underhanded methods to presumably extract benefits from our teacher. Second, his explicit behavior within the walls of our prestigious place of learning and his apparent inability to conduct himself properly in the presence of minors, for whom he is supposed to be a role model, is also inexcusable and should be righteously reprimanded. For condoning such actions is absolutely inexcusable. It is unfathomable how he came to the conclusion that conducting himself in such a reproachable manor would have been even remotely acceptable." He took a delicate sip of his coffee, burning his tongue a tad and taking a moment before he continued. "With that said, as for his behavior towards you, I believe that he was entirely out of line. Such suggestive actions towards his own student is one of the top items on the lengthy list of inappropriate school conductivity. You are a minor, and his solicitation is not only inappropriate, it's illegal. I can understand that for some people, such an illicit affair between a teacher and a student can be a sort of mutual affection, where neither party is coerced into a relationship. Also, a level of friendship between teacher and student is not necessarily something to be condemned. However, I believe that even if the affections between the two of you are mutual and consent from both parties has been given, I don't believe a relationship beyond that of a mentor and their student would be acceptable."

Okay. Now Latula was getting a headache. She regretted asking now. "Uh...so..." That was just one big long-winded version of Kankri's opinion. "...So what should I do?"

"If I were in your shoes, I believe a direct confrontation would be in your best of interests. If there is a chance that he was, indeed, attempting to instigate a relationship beyond what is commonly believed to be appropriate then—"

"Kankri, Kankri baby, no." Porrim cut in. "Trust me, I had Mr. Strider last year. He doesn't go for students. He's the type that just likes to mess with you. He's a total enigma; he'd never actually flirt with a student in earnest. Besides, you caught him with Mr. English. I'd think that'd be a clear enough indicator."

"Excuse you, Porrim, but I asked that I only be interrupted if a particular subject happened to come across as offensive." Porrim stared blankly over at him, sending her irritation through her eyes. "Now, don't you look at me that way. Latula, if Mr. Strider is earnest in his solicitations, I would be forward about it. Leaving such an important issue hanging over you would only add to your stress. You already have Mituna to think about, don't—"

"Kankri, shut up. Right now." Porrim cut him off, sending him a glare. They didn't talk about that. Not in front of Latula anyway.

Latula outwardly flinched as the name was mentioned and turned her head away. "Kankri, you can leave now." If he dare say anything about if he had offended her she was going to whip out the tried and true existential offence. She got to her feet and shoved past him. "I'm dealing with this myself. See you." She picked up her board on the way out the door and skated down the street, looking solemn.

Porrim didn't chase after her. She knew that the girl needed her space. She turned sighed and ran a hand over her hair.

"It wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings."

"Yeah, well, you did a great job of it." They both fell into a long silence, something that was very unusual when they were in each other's company. They both had their minds on their friend. Hoping she'd get things sorted out.

Latula spent a very emotional evening and Sunday all alone (technically), and returned home late, sleeping in late and on Monday skating off to school to get to class. She had tried to time it just right...but she only ended up coming right in the middle of Mr. Strider's class. She slunk into the room and took her seat, looking nervously down into her lap.

"Miss Pyrope. About time." Dirk turned away from the board, turning and looking right at her. "You made it just in time for the pop quiz I just decided to give out." The entire class groaned. "You know my rules: one late and a pop quiz for everyone. Get out a sheet of paper."

Latula hung her head, shielding her face from everyone's glowering. She scribbled out answers on her quiz awkwardly, probably failing it horribly. But she passed it up anyway and rested her head in her arms, trying not to pay attention to her teacher. She couldn't handle this.

The rest of the period went as it always had. Dirk was perfectly fine as he taught, but he noticed a dark cloud hanging over his usually rather rambunctious student. When the class was over, he called Latula up to his desk.

This was what Latula had been dreading. She dragged her feet, skateboard held to her side, nail digging into the wood. "Yeah?" She tried to act nonchalant about it, but her voice wobbled and shook, along with her hands.

“Something on your mind? You seem a bit out of it." He was worried that his actions on Friday had upset his student. If they had, he wanted to make sure he set things right.

"I'm fine," she muttered instinctively, "I mean, you sure showed me not to blackmail you. Good going. Can I leave now?" That's all this was. Latula looked longingly towards the door. She needed to get out of here.

Dirk quirked an eyebrow, not believing it in the slightest. However, he knew when to back off. She didn't have to tell him anything she didn't want to. "Just so you know, I wasn't actually going to do anything to you." He tilted his head, trying to see her face. "If there's anything you gotta get off your chest, you can always come to me about it. I'll actually give a shit, unlike the guidance counselors." He turned away and began to wipe off the board. "You're free to go now, Latula."

"I knew that." Latula totally knew he wouldn't actually do anything to her. She totally did. She was on her way out the door, before a thought struck her. A nagging, disgusting question that had bugged her since...then. "Strider...? Do you think if someone does something for you...and then gets hurt. Really, really hurt...is it your fault?"

Dirk stopped what he was doing, thinking about her question. He was about to answer when the warning bell rang and students began rushing to get to class on time. "Come see me at lunch." He turned over his shoulder and gave her a small grin before turning back and writing the day's lesson on the board.

Latula wasted no time; she was gone. She couldn't believe she'd even asked something like that. She lingered at her last class at the lunch bell, then crept towards Mr. Strider's room. She knocked and peeked in, wondering if any nookie would be greeting her again. Luckily it was clear this time. "Strider?"

Dirk had just tossed the remnants of his lunch in the wastebasket. "Pyrope. There you are." He got up and went to one of the desks, gesturing to the one beside it for her to take a seat.

Latula shrugged and slumped back in the seat, unsure of what to say. It was outwardly ridiculous for her to try and play therapist with her teacher. She wasn't sure if she could really do this. Did she want to know the answer to her question? She would have to explain the situation...

Dirk sat down in one of the desks, his rather large body and long legs not quite fitting in the student's desks, but he managed, sitting awkwardly and uncomfortably, but he kept his face stoic. "I thought about your question for a long ass time. I think that putting yourself in danger for someone...just to try and impress them...is one of the stupidest things you can do." He paused for a moment, thinking about how he wanted to put it. "Your actions are your actions, and you need to take ownership. They’re no one else's fault."

"So...it's not my fault?" Latula gulped and looked up to meet Dirk's eyes. Or rather. His shades. "So...I shouldn't feel bad?"  But it was in her gut, knowing that if she hadn't pushed her lifestyle, hadn't been so radical, would he...? "Strider, do you really, really mean that?"

“You asked me a serious question and you deserved a serious answer. This seems like something that's really got you in a knot. I know when and where to dick around." He turned so he was completely facing her. "Whatever this friend of yours did, it sounds like they did it themselves. You can't blame yourself for someone else's stupidity." He reached forward and patted her hair, ruffling her hair a bit. "It's not your fault, Latula. Whatever it is."

"It wasn't his stupidity!" Latula seemed genuinely upset by Dirk's use of the word. "I mean...ugh, it's nothing. I mean..." She still felt the one to blame. "That helped enough. Thanks."

"Sorry, sorry." Dirk was walking a thin line: trying to be consoling without knowing what was going on. Far too easy to say the wrong thing, but he was starting to piece together the basics. "But blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault isn't going to make things better. Boys usually do stupid or dangerous things for people they care about." He sighed, "How would he feel if he knew you were blaming yourself for whatever it is that he's done?"

Latula knew exactly how he would feel, if he were him. The him he'd been before the accident. But now? "He'd be confused and unsure and he'd keep saying sorry..." And she would cry.

Dirk furrowed his brow, not quite understanding. He nodded slowly. "Well, if he was willing to put himself in danger, he must really care about you. And he probably still does. He wouldn't want you blaming yourself."

Latula took several deep breaths. "Do you want to know why?" She got to her feet and looked at the clock. They had plenty of time- the hospital wasn't that far away. "Come with me.

"Latula..." He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I don't like to get too involved in my students' personal lives. I'll be there as an ear to listen, but..." he sighed. It was all so difficult to walk the line he prided himself on. "I have to get ready for my next class. We only have 10 more minutes till the end of lunch."

"Whatever you say, Strider." She was a little disappointed, but...also relieved. Latula flipped down her board and skated out the door. She had been so ready to unload what had happened, in detail, with the evidence of its happening, but...it was nice to know that she didn't have to burden someone else. It was nice he had said no. She was unburdened to the extent she could carry her own weight without having to be carried herself.

Dirk sighed, pulling himself from the cramped desk. Normally he was able to pull himself and detach from these sorts of things, but it'd been a while since he'd seen someone that lonely carry themselves so tall. He'd make note to check in on her from time to time.

In the next wing over, Karkat was sitting in his classroom right after lunch, his free period. No little snot-nosed brats who didn't understand basic algebra for him that period, and he was damn proud of it.

As if out of nowhere, Dave was right behind him. "Yo, teach. What's up?"

Karkat might have shrieked. He whipped around in his swivel chair, fuming and angry. "What the blue blazing fucks do you think you're doing here Strider? Go bother your brother! Better yet, go bother Peixes! Even better than that, go fuck with Captor!"

"I know better than to bother my Bro at work, and I don't want to fuck with the principal either, and Captor's not nearly as much fun as you are, Mr. Vantas." He got comfortable on Karkat's desk.

"Then don't bother _me!"_ Karkat snapped, trying to focus on his grading. He was trying too hard. His pencil broke. In half.

"You're the highlight of my day. Going a day without pissing you off would be like dubstep with the bass going eternally undropped. It'd be even more empty and meaningless than it already is." He cracked a smirk at the broken pencil. He reached into his bag and presented a new one. "Here, teach. Looks like you need this."

"Smartass..." Dave was like a goddamn dog that pissed on the rug just to spite him. He snatched the pencil and threw the broken remains of his old one at the other. "Now get out! You've succeeded at pissing me off, whoop-dee-doo. Now leave."

Dave sighed dramatically, crossing his legs on Karkat's desk. He put his elbow on his knee and his head in his hand. "When will Vantas Sensei notice me?" He whined, quoting one of his Bro's stupid, shoujo animes.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Karkat demanded as he sneered at his ex-student. "Get out of here, I don't want to see your face."

"But I want to see yours." He leaned over until he forced shade-to-eye contact with his teacher.

"Get out." Karkat instinctively reached up and snatched those overbearing shades off his face. "Or you're not going to get these back.”

Dave threw his arms up over his eyes. "Hey, man, not cool. No one sees me without my shades. Not even my best bro."

"Are you going to leave?" Karkat demanded. It was probably cruel, but he needed to be sure. He had a lot to do and Dave was not on that list.

"Come on, teach, this ain't funny. Gimme back my shades." He used one arm to hide his eyes while the other groped around in Karkat's general direction, trying to find his sunglasses. His best bro gave him those and he'd be damned if any harm came to them.

"Are you going to leave?" the troll repeated, getting ready to chuck the shades towards the door and then lock it.

"The chance of me leaving will be greater if you give me my shades back." He countered, accidentally grabbing Karkat's face as he groped around for his glasses.

"Fine, take them." Karkat shoved the shades in Dave's face, one of the lenses popping out as he did so. "...Fuck."

Dave took the shades in his hand, feeling that one of the lenses had popped out. His face went very stoic, very quickly. He cracked his hypersensitive eyes open, wincing at the bright light as he bent down to pick up the lens. He worked on fixing them as he headed towards the door, closing it behind him without a word.

Karkat felt like a major asshole now. Sure Dave was a douche nozzle, but at the same time, he had taken what seemed to be something very important to Dave and had made him vulnerable... Shit.

Dave wandered through the halls, eyes mostly closed as he tried to press the lens back into place without cracking it. He kept getting bumped into and shoved by other obnoxious students as he walked, but he didn't care. He turned out all the obnoxious taunting and focused on what was important.

Dave had to walk crooked with one eye covered, clutching the popped out lens. He made it to his brother's classroom, seeing no students had bothered him yet. There was still some quick time before lunch. "Bro?"

Dirk turned around to berate his little brother for bothering him at school—as they had a clear understanding between them that that was not acceptable—but when he saw his bro and his broken shades his expression softened the slightest bit. "Give em here."

Dave stood beside the desk and handed the shades, then the lens, over to his brother. He covered his eyes with his forearm. Dirk had seen just about everything of his, eyes included, but he still felt...naked.

Dirk fiddled with the lenses, carefully working on getting the lens back in place. "What happened?"

"Some douchebag took my shades and wouldn't give them back. So I punched him in the balls and grabbed em. ...But the lens popped out." Of course, that was a giant load of bullshit. He just didn't want to get Karkat in trouble.

Bro didn't remark on the obvious lie as he finally got the lens back in place. "Rule number one of the Striders," he handed Dave his glasses back, "no one touches your shades." He looked over his brother's slightly slumped shoulders. "Who's the asshole."

"Some random douchebag at lunch who thinks I'm a dweeb." Yeah right. Dave Strider. A dweeb. He was going to dump one of his fermented animal fetuses on that dude.

"I'm not gonna beat the guy up. It's your problem and you get to deal with it. But I know when I'm being lied to. You wanna tell me what's up, that's cool, but don't waste my time with lies, especially when we're at school." He didn't care if Dave lied about stupid shit, but he got the sense things ran deeper here.

"I'm not going to get real into details and shit here, but I'll just say it's some guy I'm really into and he was just trying to get me to leave." That was the gist of what had happened. Karkat was forgivable; he just didn't want his Bro butting in.

"Well it’s your business. Just don't be a dork and fuck it up." If Dave didn't want to confide in his one as only big bro then he didn't have to. He didn't want or feel the need to push it.

Dave snatched his shades and placed them over his eyes. "Like I could fuck this up." That said, he sauntered out the door, like he owned everything. Everything except that classroom.

Dirk smirked after his brother. The more he thought about it, Dave was a lot like Latula putting on a cool air for everyone around him, hiding his inner dork for all he was worth. He sighed as thoughts of the troubled girl wormed their way into his mind.

Said girl was on her way down the hall before she smacked right into the principal. Again. She groaned, having been knocked clear off her board this time. "Dammit, where do you even come from?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Meenah pulled herself up off the floor, rubbing her lower back. "My office. Now."

Sighing rather loud, Latula grabbed her board and hopped to her feet, following after Meenah. She dragged her feet, despite that. She didn't want to get in trouble for doing something everyone in the school had given up about.

"Alright," Meenah closed the door behind her as the two of them stepped into her office, "normally I don't give a flying fuck, but you caught me in a bad mood."

Latula stared down at her feet, hugging his board. She hadn't dared ride it to the office. She was scared of it being taken away from her. "You're not the only one," she muttered indignantly under her breath.

"What, you too?" She sighed, sitting sideways in her comfy chair. "Don't tell me it's boy trouble."

"It might be." Latula wasn't up to get into depth to someone she didn't care for in a bad mood, but...she did want to unload to a certain extent.

Meenah huffed, "Boys are stupid as shit. People tell you it'll get better. That boys will become more mature as you get older." She rolled her eyes. "I can assure you that they're just as dumb when their adults as when they're teenagers. Except they have more money~"

"I know that." She knew that painfully well. Or at least, she thought she did... Latula sighed and rolled the wheel on her board. "Can I go? Or am I in trouble?"

"Hm? Oh, no, you were never in trouble. We're being inspected so I have to pretend I give a shit about the rules for like a week."

"Oh." Latula looked towards the door. "...Does that mean I can leave then?"

"Yeah, sure. I have a math teacher to pester in about 5 minutes." She swiveled around. "You're free to go whenever."

Latula practically skated out the door at lightning speed, tearing down the halls and out the door. She was skipping for the rest of the day. Fuck school! She had important people to see.

Latula was almost at the door when she ran into another body for the second time.

"Young lady, what in the hay are you doing?!" The inspector. Of all the people to run into...

Latula went crashing to the ground. Damn, second time that day... She was usually better. She hardly ever crashed this often. She picked up her board nervously. "Uh, I'm just...getting to class." At the entrance of the school.

"You're _late_ young lady. And what made you think it'd be okay to ride a skateboard around the school! Detention this Friday _and_ Saturday!" She stuck out her hand. "Hand me the board."

"Whoa, what?" Latula hugged the board to her chest. There was no way. She saw some late straggler opening their locker and shoved her board into their locker, then shutting it. She hissed at them a promise of cash to keep the board safe for later, leering at the inspector. No way was she letting her touch her board.

The inspector puffed up indignantly. "Looks like you've got detention _next_ Friday and Saturday as well." She gave Latula a haughty look before walking away to go and talk with Meenah and have the detention officially granted.

Latula snapped her fingers in a rather sassy manner. "You can take my time, but you can't take my board." That was all she was going to give.


	3. But What About the Captors?

When Friday finally rolled round, Dirk was all packed up and about to head home. As he walked down the hall, he happened a glance in the designated detention classroom. He saw the usual couple kids that seemed to be permanently doomed to a life of Friday detentions, but he was more than surprised to see Latula there. She was troublesome to most teachers, but not the type to get detention.

"Ah, shit." Dirk turned around and saw his little brother behind him. "Don't tell me you're our supervisor."

Dirk thought about it a moment, "I am now."

Latula had her face down in her arms, board carefully placed in her lap. She had paid more than she had wanted to get it back. But she didn't care, her board was too perfect, too good for anyone to take from. She sighed, looking up at Dirk. "Hurry up so I can ride home."

Dave plopped down next to Latula. "Yeah, Bro, can't you just let me go?"

Dirk picked up a board eraser and chucked it at Dave's forehead with alarming speed, force, and precision. "You're in detention for a reason. And you're going to sit your asses down until its over."

Latula decided to break out the sharpie and start drawing over the bottom of her board. She didn't particularly care for the rules, so she sure as hell was not going to study. Fuck studying. "I have somewhere to be, can I leave halfway through? It's kind of important."

"Sorry. Can't. Not without a note from your parents." He sat back in the swivel chair, hands resting stop his head, fingers interlacing.

"Bro, what the fuck, you're usually so cool about—Geh!" Another perfectly aimed eraser knocked him in the forehead.

Latula's hands shook a little as she tried to keep the sharpie steady, drawing out a doodle of someone- someone important. "It's important.. I promised I would meet someone."

"I'm sorry, but I can't." He frowned before picking up the classroom phone. "Yo, you never have any plans on Friday. Get your grumpy rump up here." He hung up on the angered cursing, waiting for his fellow teacher to arrive.

Latula grit her teeth and checked the time. She didn't care what he said, she was going to keep her promise. She just had to bide her time.

After a few minutes a very grumpy, short troll came stomping his way into the room, steaming. "What the hell do you want, dickweed?"

"Ah, Mr. Vantas. Need you to take over detention for me." He picked up his coat and bag. "Miss Pyrope, you're coming with me."

"Bro," Dave cut in, "I'm coming wi—"

"No, you stay with Vantas." Dirk instructed, waiting for Latula to get up. Dave looked over at Karkat for only a moment before turning to look out the window, pretending he wasn't bothered.

Surprised, Latula awkwardly picked up her board and strapped it to her back, following after Dirk nervously. Cursing was heard from Karkat as the door shut behind them. "What are you doing?" she asked, feeling a bit...flighty.

"Special detention with Strider sensei." He murmured under his breath. "You have all your stuff with you right?"

Latula wasn't sure if she liked the sound of that, but she muttered a 'yes' and followed after him, dropping her board and rolling along beside him.

He lead her to his car, unlocking it and opening the door for her. "Which hospital?"

Latula gulped, staring at the care. "Oh...I..." He was going to give her a ride to the hospital? "Beforus Hospital." She slid into the car and awkwardly pulled the buckle down over her chest.

Dirk pulled out of his parking spot and sped off. He could see just how distraught she had been siting in detention. "This doesn't mean you're getting off Saturday detention."

"...I know." She swallowed nervously, staring into her lap. Latula then looked out the window. "I'm not going to see him tomorrow. I didn't think I would have detention so I... I already promised." And Latula Pyrope did not change her plans just for detention.

"This is the guy we were talking about earlier this week." He glanced at Latula out of the corner of his eye, seeing if he was right in his assumption.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't." Latula stayed staring out the window. She recognized the streets as they soon pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. "Thanks for this."

"I'll be here when you're done." Dirk laid the seat back and slid his hat down over his face and turned on the music. Might as well get comfortable.

Latula didn't know if she was grateful or upset that Dirk wasn't coming in with her. But she skated through the doors, and then checked in, leaving her board with the receptionist, who knew her by name.

Latula was gone for hours; she never came back. But she never left the hospital, either.

Dirk had fallen asleep after a while, but after waiting for so long, he quickly got bored. He went inside, asking the front desk lady if she'd seen a girl with a skateboard. He was pointed in the right direction instantly.

Latula was in a chair sitting beside another troll in bed, who was hooked up to a machine. It didn't breathe for him, but it did a lot of other things for him. His heart monitor was beeping slowly, syncing up with her own heartbeat. She held his hand, a book in her lap. She was whispering the words to him, hoping he could hear. At first she had thought things like that were crazy, now it was just...life.

Dirk stood outside the room, mixed feelings about what he should do. He knocked on the door, not wanting to startle his student.

Latula looked up, looking more sad than startled. She waved him in, letting him know that it was fine to come into the room. She closed the book and waited for him to say something.

Dirk came in looking over the comatose boy. He was thin, kind of bony. And he was pale, at least by troll standards. He had bandages covering his head and eyes. He looked at Latula, waiting for her to explain when he was ready. He wouldn't ask.

It took Latula a couple minutes to take deep breaths and explain. "He's my matesprit and..." She had to take another deep breath. "And I taught him how to ride a board. He was the sweetest thing you could ever imagine with just a touch of asshole; the best person you could ever be flushed with. And one day he took his board up on top of this building that's real close to another. It's a hot spot on the top for rad guys to go do nasty wicked tricks and...he was trying to impress me. He tried to make it across the gap and...and he missed. She reached over to stroke his wavy, fluffy hair. He looked like a dandelion, really. "He landed on a balcony and we called the ambulance and..." She took several more deep breaths. "He comes out of these comas every now and then but...he's not the same.."

Dirk folded his arms and leaned up against the wall. He was impressed by Latula, feeling a new level of respect arise for the girl. She was carrying this burden, one that she felt fully responsible for, and carrying on and keeping a grin on her face. Most kids would stop coming after a while.  No matter how much they cared about their friend, few people would visit every week. "You're incredible."

Latula chose to gloss over the compliment. "He's been like this for a year... Not this coma. This one has been a few months. I hope he wakes up soon." This one was lasting so much longer than the others. "And I'll be here when he wakes up." She had the hospital call her whenever he broke through and woke up. "It's funny, you'd always think it would be dramatic when they wake up..."

"I never understood why they glorified hospitals on tv. They're..." Dirk cut himself off. No point saying things like that. "They're much more bearable when you know that someone still cares enough to visit."

"I'm never going to stop visiting him. Not until he's out of this hospital and he's with me forever." She would never forget him or leave him behind

"You're a great kid, Latula. He's very lucky to have someone like you." He smiled a bit. "He can probably hear you, you know. He smiled a bit when you said that."

That was exactly the kind of thing that would give Latula the tears. She cracked a little, covering her mouth and rubbing under her glasses. She squeezed her matesprit's hand. "I know he can... I know. And I'm going to keep talking to him." She leaned over and gave the sleeping boy a quick kiss on the cheek, then the temple, whispering an 'I love you'.

"Come on, we have to get going now. It's been hours and I have to get home for Dave and the others." He understood her wanting to be there, but damn, it was dinner time already and he had to get home.

"Can I stay here? I can get home on my own. I skate home all the time from here." Besides, her detention had long gotten out. Detention only lasted an hour after school.

"It's already dark. I'd feel more comfortable if I took you home." Dirk insisted, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Latula took another deep breath before she nodded and leaned down to kiss her matesprit once more. "I'll be back, Mituna..." she whispered as he ruffled his dandelion hair. She stood up and nodded. They went off to pick up her skateboard and then she followed Dirk out to his car. "Thanks for this." She didn't know what to do if she hadn't been able to come.

Dirk didn't say anything to her thanks as he hopped into the car and started it up. He'd made sure to make note of the name "Mituna" feeling like it was...somewhat familiar. Maybe Dave had gone to school with him. "Where do you live?"

"I live in that gated community by the recreation center," Latula muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. She disliked the gated community; it cut her off from a lot.

"Shit, you live in the rich part of town." He awkwardly readjusted his hat. "Alright then." He drove away, wanting to get her home before it got to be too late.

"Yeah, caretaker's a prosecutor. She's into the whole thing where we live how we can afford." And they could afford a lot. She looked over to the little stand. "I can get out, they're not gonna let you in without taking down your name and calling my house."

“Yeah, I don't really want to go in there anyhow." It gave him the creeps. "I'll see you at detention tomorrow. 9 o'clock sharp." He unlocked the doors, inviting her to get out.

"Right." She nodded and hopped out, skating up to the little booth and saying hello before she zipped through the little walk-in gate and down her streets to get to her house.

Dirk took a detour to pick up some Pizzas. Jane was out of the house and she wouldn’t be getting home until after dinner. Without her, they were almost completely lost for food. He pulled into his driveway, pizzas and soda balanced perfectly in his hand as he went up to his front door, pushing it open with his hip. "Honey, I'm home."

Roxy cheered and ran up to hug Dirk, snatching one of the boxes before the kids could get it. Everyone else came and grabbed their food. Everyone was on the couch, the kids and the guardians, watching bad movies, the first being Con Air, as demanded by John.

Dirk had been sitting on his questions regarding Mituna the entire time. He watched as everyone noshed on pizza and slurped their sodas. He could not wait for this terrible movie to be over. Then he could maybe start asking around.

Most of the house was just chilling out, everyone either cuddling up on the couch in a friendly manner or pairing up. Others attempting and failing. "Man, they look super cute down there!" Jake exclaimed as he looked down on the four kids either asleep or cuddling up with one another at the foot of the couch.

"Dammit, I was going to ask them something." His mouth quirked up in a small smile. "Kinda reminds me of the way we were when we were younger.

"Oh, I'm sure you could wake 'em up..." Jake then promptly kicked John and Dave, who grunted themselves awake from their brocurious cuddlefest. "There! Now you can ask them whatever you needed!"

"Dude, what the fuck?" Dave sat up, rubbing where his and his bro's heads had painfully knocked against each other.

Jane reached down and gently shook the girls awake. "Rose? Jade? Dirk wants to ask you something..."

Jade didn't wake at all from where she lay with her head on Rose's lap, little bucked teeth sticking out over her bottom lip as she just curled up tighter, while John whined and rubbed the back of his head. "Whaaaaaaat?"

Rose gingerly sat up, rubbing her eyes before readjusting her headband. "What is it?"

Dirk sat back, folding his arms behind his head as he took center stage, so to speak. "Do any of you know the Captor family? And keep your mouth shut, Dave, I know you have one as a math teacher, and I don't need that useless smartass remark." Dave closed his mouth.

"You're kinda touchy today, Dirk. Did something happen?" Rose asked from her seat on the floor.

John perked up a bit as he heard the name 'Captor'. "I know the teacher guy! And he's got a brother or something, but I think he had an accident." He looked around to his friends, getting nods in return. "It was big news and stuff when it happened."

Dirk ran a hand over his forehead, pinching his nose just below the nosepiece of his shades. "I know the teacher. I work with him. I'm more interested in one of the younger Captors: Mituna. Do you know anything else about him? His friends?" Maybe Karkat would know a thing or two.

"I know he hangs around that cool kid! That troll girl on the skateboard!" John was grinning his goofy little grin, almost as if he admired Latula for her apathy towards the rules. "Or he used to, anyway."

Jade had completely awoken by now and was interested in the conversation. "I think he spent time with that mime kid."

"Oh that weird mute kid." Dave grimaced. "He freaks me out more than his brother."

"I know Latula, but..." He thought about it a moment. "Alright, assignment for you kids. You get to find out shit about Mituna for me." He looked over at the other young blonde. "Rose? No input here?"

"I have nothing useful to offer other than wayward tidbits of gossip."

John and Jade both made little whining noises, huffing at the notion of homework. It didn't matter what it was, it was homework, and they didn't like homework. "What kind of stuff do we have to find out?" John whined as he leaned against Dave. Very unironically.

“Anything."

Rose smirked a touch, eyeing Dave. "You could probably ask Mr. Vantas a thing or two. He's good friends with Mr. Captor." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Rose, shut the fuck up, seriously. It's not—Ow!"

"Language, Dave!" Jane scolded, waggling her finger.

Jake wondered if he could help, but wasn't sure if he really...wanted to get involved. Dirk seemed to be in one of those moods were only information would suffice, and lots of it. He could have the kids handle it... But he should probably be the one with the stress relief. He wasn't very subtle about this. His offer was reaching down and making a grab for Dirk's 'banana'.

All of the kids groaned and shrunk back in disgust, save for Rose who unabashedly watched until Dave slapped his hand over her eyes. "Bro! Jake, dude! Get a room you freaking exhibitionists!" Jane joined in the children’s awkwardness and turned away, face beet red.

"Don't worry, Dave. Jake's just showing he cares. You'll understand some day." He looked over at his friend, a tiny grin playing at the corners of his mouth.

Jake was tempted to give the double pistols and a wink, but refrained from the 'dorkiness', since he knew Dirk wouldn't approve. "This is how I'm showing my support, no matter how batty you get!" He meant it in a good way, of course.

"Thanks, English. Where would I be without you." He leaned over and gently pecked him on the lips.

"Screw this, I'm out of here." Dave got up and dragged Jade and Rose away, Jade grabbing John by the hand as they made their escape.

"Thank you for the pizza, Dirk." Rose called before they disappeared out of the room.

"Well... Now that the kids are gone..." Jake was a little eager, it seemed.

"Heyy, we're here too!" Roxy exclaimed as she promptly cuddled up to Dirk's other half. "Doesn't Roxy-mama get love too?" She was draping herself over his lap, pooling over onto Jake's lap too.

"Sure, Roxy." He kissed her on the forehead, gently running his hand over the back of her head.

Jane looked over at the cuddle puddle that was going on and scooted over next to Jake, curling up against him and clutching to his arm as she leaned against his shoulder.

Jake was slowly realizing that there would be very little 'comforting' that night. Just as there usually wasn't. This was exactly why they resorted to having sex at school! He sighed, but smiled and cuddled everyone as close as he could, with Jane and Dirk on an arm each, then half of Roxy in his lap.

Roxy grinned as she looked up at all three of her friends. "So... Movie or orgie?"

"I'll see what's on netflix." He grinned, looking over at Jake. "Guess we'll have to try tomorrow." He leaned over and kissed him again, lingering a bit more this time.


	4. Wakey Wakey, Sex and Laundry

Latula was looking rather ruffled, a lot more than usual. She'd had a very rocky night, and Saturday school was just adding insult to injury. She walked into the doors, having foregone her skateboard for once. She wasn't in the mood. She opened the door and frowned as no one else was there. No one but Strider. The older one. "...Sup."

Dirk let out a yawn. They'd definitely watched one too many movies last night. "Yo." He gave her a nod in greeting, leaning back and stretching in his chair.

Latula nervously took her seat in front of him and looked around the class. "...Where's the rest of the Saturday detention class?"

“In another classroom. It's just you and me today." He grabbed his coat and got up. "Ready to go?"

"...Really? Where?" Latula wasn't sure if she really...wanted to be alone with Dirk. But at the same time, she didn't want to be alone anymore. She'd been alone all of last night and she just...wanted to be around someone. And Dirk was looking mighty attractive for that position.

"Anywhere. Fuck if I'm staying cooped up in this classroom all day." He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. "Coming?"

Latula didn’t want to stay cooped up either, she knew that for sure. She hopped up and ran after Dirk, awkwardly striding beside him, keeping up with his pace. "So, Dirkzy, what's goin' on?" She was trying to mask her tough night with some good old humor and nicknames. Smalltalk was what she needed.

"Yeah, don't call me that." He winced at the nickname. Some of the pet names Roxy gave out were...equally peculiar, but more tolerable considering the duration of their friendship. "Let's just focus on getting out of here without anyone seeing."

"No problem, Rad-Strad." She was reaching for the radical puns here. But despite how cool and rad she was trying to be on the outside, she was really growing thin on herself. She was starting to debate how her friends could even stand her.

"Yeah, you can just stop." He could feel just how hard she was trying. "I'm really hungry. Let's go grab something to eat."

"What kind of food?" Latula didn't like being left in the dark about these things. "Maybe we could go hang out by the skate deck!"

Dirk's stomach let out an audible growl, and he tried to play it cool, as if it never happened. "Just lemme get some drive thru doughnuts. Or something."

"No, man, we gotta hit the skatedeck. They got nachos and burritos and chips and if you're with the radical Latula Pyrope, they won't charge us a dime." Latula was the shit.

"Alright, alright." He smiled a bit, "Let's walk." It was so much as a choice as they were required to. Jane had dropped him off and then took Roxy shopping with her. They'd be gone hours.

Latula really wished she had brought her board with her. Turns out it probably would have been a good thing. The one time she left it at home! "It's just up the street."

"Sounds good." The two of them walked in silence for a little while, Dirk giving her little glances out of the corner of his eye. "You tired?"

"...Yeah, a little. ...Okay, a lot." She hadn't slept. Much at all. "I was too tired thinking about... Well, worrying. I was worrying."

"About Mituna, right?" Obviously.

"Yeah. About Mituna." It was once more one of those complex issues where she wanted to talk about it. But at the same time, she really didn't.

Dirk paused a moment before speaking up again. "How's he doing?" As if his condition would've changed over night.

It took Latula a moment to gather her thoughts, and even then she was hesitant. "No change. I'm hoping he wakes up soon. This one has lasted long than all the others." Even if he did wake up it usually only lasted a month tops. Then he would crash right back into another coma.

Dirk nodded, "I'm sure he'll wake up soon, knowing you're there waiting for him." Or some cheesy shit like that. He didn't really know what else to say. He adjusted his cap with a sigh. "Looks like we're here."

Latula waved him in and hopped up to the bar, greeting her fellow board jockeys with a high-five. After a couple moments of talking she was handed some nachos and turned back to Dirk. "I got one to share."

Dirk went over to the bench and sat down cross-legged, the cold of the metal seeping through his pants, making his butt uncomfortably cold, but the nachos made up for it. "These are pretty good."

Latula nodded, scooting close. A little too close. "I love the boys here, they make the best food." She was lucky to have the little niche community that they had here at the skate deck. It made her feel a lot less lonely. And whenever Mituna was feeling better for a few days she would sneak him out of the hospital and take him skating- he still loved skating, despite how he couldn't remember how it had gotten him into the mess he was in now.

Dirk didn't mind her close proximity, considering he had friends that always cuddled up against him. "Like a family away from home, right?" He grinned a bit, understanding exactly how that felt.

Latula nodded and looked over at many of the skaters. "None of them every judged me or Mituna, even after the accident." They had been so understanding during all his surgeries, during all his comas, and they were all so good to him when she snuck him in to skate about. It brought a few tears to her eyes.

Dirk looked at her a moment before wiping a few of her tears away, big brother mode kicking in. He dried her face before offering her a cheesy nacho, a slice of jalapeño sliding down the thick cheese.

"Sorry..." Latula turned her head away as she really started to cry. It wasn't full out bawling like she usually did when she was frustrated and angry, this was something that showed just how truly saddened she was. All the unresolved sadness was bubbling to the surface, and she wondered why the hell it had to be around Dirk. She turned and rested her head on his shoulder, crying against his shirt, translucent teal tears staining his shirt.

He reached up and gently patted her head, slowly rubbing his hand back and forth, wanting to soothe the girl. He pulled her into a hug and placed his chin atop her head as she cried. HIs arms were a little stiff, as this wasn't the sort of thing he was really good at. He'd comforted Roxy and Jane plenty of times, but...Latula was still a kid.

Latula just sobbed and sobbed, both dry and wet. She eventually ended up in Dirk's lap, hiccuping against his chest and trembling. She had a lot on her shoulders, despite how high she held her head. She was so strong, carrying all the guilt and all the responsibility from her relationship, and still managing to smile at everyone that passed by her. And right then, Dirk was the plate she could unload on, letting all her guards down.

Dirk was awkwardly giving her a one armed hug, his other hand still holding the cooling nachos. He felt like a terrible person for really wanting to eat the nachos more than anything, but of course he couldn't push her away, and it'd be rude to try and eat over her shoulder. He sighed as his stomach rumbled, hand gently stroking her back.

Latula was damn near close to passing out. Her eyes were heavy as the tears slowly ebbed, still wound up close in Dirk's lap. Whether he decided to eat and be 'rude' or not, she wouldn't notice any time soon.

Dirk abandoned the nachos and hoisted her up, carrying her out of the park. He didn't need all those skaters gaping and gawking at her.

Latula probably would have died of embarrassment at any other point, but right then she couldn't give less of a shit. She was way too out of it. She moaned in his arms, curling up tighter, clutching at his shirt as she stirred but didn't wake. She was too exhausted.

As soon as Dirk left the house, he had absolutely no idea where to take her. He couldn't exactly take her back to the school. Carrying an unconscious student in through the doors, a student who was supposed to be in detention, would not look good. He sighed, taking her to the only place where he knew she could comfortably sleep this off.

Latula probably could have slept anywhere Dirk left her, and even if he just left her wherever she would have woken up and ditched for home. She murmured something under her breath, the name 'Mituna' coming out rather clear.

Dirk sighed as he headed for home. He'd let her rest on the couch till she woke up. Hopefully no one else would be home when he got there.

Dirk was in luck, no one was home. The kids were all out doing their own thing and the other adults had probably gone out drinking. When Latula was laid down on the couch she curled up around the couch pillow easily, still murmuring in her sleep. Mituna's name wasn't dropped anymore- no one's name was, but there were several...questionable noises coming from her lips.

As Dirk pulled up a blanket, he noticed that Latula was...squirming a bit, and there was a flush on her face as she moaned in her sleep. He checked his temperature, just to make sure his dirty mind hadn't guessed wrong. Nope. No fever. Just a teenage girl having a wet dream on his couch.

It was no mystery why Latula was having a wet dream. It had been a long time for her, even taking care of herself. She had no other quadrants beside Mituna, and even when he was out of a coma he had no business being sexually active. She was a frustrated teenage girl who hardly had the time for masturbation, and no one to relieve herself with.

If Dirk had felt at all awkward before, he really didn't know what to do now. He sat down in the chair across the room, not wanting her to wake up alone in a strange place, but...there wasn't really anything he could do in this scenario.

Latula buried her face into the couch pillow, hips jutting down, a very prominent bulge writing against her the spandex of her skate suit. And it wasn't too long until her muffled cries were hardly even muffled anymore against the pillow, and a big gushy mess exploding along the inside of her pants- it had /definitely/ been a long time.

Dirk didn't like the little shock of arousal that zipped to his loins. He didn't suddenly have a boner party in his pants, but his dick definitely showed a spark of interest. He turned away, pinching the bridge of his nose. This was so wrong and weird in several different ways.

After rolling around in soiled pants, teal liquid seeping through her pants and onto the couch, Latula woke up not too long after. She groaned and shakily held her head up, looking around. She flushed as she saw Dirk, then realized why her pants were wet. "Uh...hey."

Dirk's head was turned away and he had his chin resting on his fist. "Bathroom's down the hall, first door on your right."

Latula didn't have to be told twice. She made a run for it, locking the door behind her and stepping out of her suit. It was totally ruined from the inside, and so was her underwear. She could get home and wash it all out easily, but...she had no clothes. She hadn't really anticipated this. Fuck.

Dirk went into Roxy's wardrobe and grabbed what he guessed would fit. Roxy was considerably curvier than Latula, but they were the only ones that had a chance of fitting. He just hoped she wouldn't notice right away. He left them outside the door to the bathroom, knocking on the door and then disappearing.

Latula peeked outside and saw the clothing, and once she had wiped herself off she pulled it all on. Her frame was fairly boyish for the clothes, but it didn't fit atrociously. It was baggy in certain places and tight in others. She opened the door and awkwardly stepped out, returning to the place she had been before. She noticed Dirk and turned away, feeling awkward. She'd just messed herself in a fantastic sleep orgasm. In front of a teacher.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you peed your pants on Mr. Strider's sofa." Maybe feigning ignorance would make it a little less awkward.

Okay, Dirk putting it that way was potentially worse than being worded the way it actually happened, and she was quick to heatedly tack on some snark, "And what if that wasn't pee? Troll pee don't look like that, Dirkzy."

"I've never gotten pissed on by a troll so I wouldn't know. And even if it wasn't pee I still wouldn't judge you." He quirked an eyebrow. He could understand her embarrassment, but man did she get defensive.

Latula flushed harder, cheeks turning the same color as the liquid that was seeping into the couch from before. Oh shit, the couch. She stared over at it, edging away and unsure of what to do.

Dirk sighed, "Better get that before it stains." He got up and headed towards the pantry to grab the pet cleaner. He felt a little weird using pet stain remover to get rid of troll spunk, but hell, it'd probably work.

"Do you want me to do it...?" Latula felt bad, making someone else clean up after her mess. Not to mention it was just embarrassing, considering the certain type of mess it was.

"Naw, it's okay." He could do at least one more kindness for the kid. Though as he started to clean it off, he noticed its smell. It wasn't like human jizz, obviously, but the smell was pleasing and sent a shiver down his spine. He sniffed, thinking nothing of it as he sprayed the spot.

Latula stood by awkwardly, looking away and keeping her hands clasped together, leaning against the back of the couch.. "So..." Smalltalk. How to make smalltalk...

Dirk didn't exactly have anything to say, but he knew he was growing increasingly uncomfortable. He tugged at the collar of his shirt as he began to work the teal fluid from the couch.

Latula awkwardly sat on the top of the couch, watching Dirk. She really hoped he didn't bring this up later. Ever. "Sorry about your couch." She hoped humans couldn't have some weird allergy to troll semen.

"No it's..." He shifted again, his pants growing a tad uncomfortable the longer he inhaled that peculiar smell. He tried to ignore the tingling heat in his face. This feeling was...really... _really_ weird.

Latula didn't know what to say about anything else. She nervously looked around, seeing a few pictures. "So...who else lives here?"

"My friends: Roxy, Jane, and Jake, or Mr. English as you know him. Their charges: Jade, Rose, and John. Then there's my little shit, Dave. Big family. Noisy as fuck, but ya gotta love em." He shifted his hips, feeling his pants tightening terribly. He shifted, hiding his problem form Latula. "What about you?"

"I live in the hills with my mom. She's a prosecutor, trying to get into the judge ring." Her mom was dead-set on the whole 'Judge Pyrope' thing happening. And the same thing for Latula. She just wanted to ride the boards...

"So it's just the two of you?" Sounded terribly lonely. He couldn't imagine a family of less than what he had.

"Yeah. I mean, there's Pyralsprite, but she doesn't really count." She wasn't really a part of _their_ family... "And then all of my mom's wicked weird little dragon plushies she hangs all around the house." With nooses. It made Latula shudder.

"Uh...huh..." Dirk wasn't even listening. He wasn't even cleaning anymore. He was just trying to figure out how to leave the room without letting Latula see his fully tented pants. His breathing was picking up, but he managed to keep that as inconspicuous as he could.

"Is something wrong?" Latula wondered if something was wrong with Dirk. She turned around the couch and came up beside him, waving a hand in front of his face. And then she noticed the great big bulge in his pants. "...Oh."

He shifted awkwardly. "How was I supposed to know troll spunk was a fuckin aphrodisiac? Like something right out of shitty hentai." He frowned, as he stood up, his little soldier standing proud as he went to throw the used paper towels away.

"I didn't know it was either..." Latula knelt down beside him and took his shoulders, smiling nervously. The idea of doing something sexual right then was...exciting. It had been a while since she'd done anything with anyone... "Mr. Strider...would you like some help?"

If his brain had been properly connected to the rest of him, he'd have said no. It would have been the sensible thing. She was obviously emotionally distressed, even if she wasn't showing it at that moment. But his dick begged and pleaded and argued until he found himself nodding, agreeing to the suggestion.

Latula pushed Dirk back and straddled him, pulling off the borrowed clothing. The shirt went first, and she cupped her breasts, the teal colored nipples perking up from the cool air around her, then slid one hand down to slide the yoga pants off, showing off the thick, writhing bulge above the slit that was slowly opening up, dripping with translucent fluids.

Well, she certainly knew how to get down to business; Dirk couldn't deny that. He wrapped his arms around her waist and latched his mouth onto her perked breasts. Her body was small and tight, and it made having his pants still on terribly uncomfortable. He unbuttoned and unzipped them, yanking them down and freeing his throbbing dick.

Latula looked almost...disappointed when she saw the size of Dirk's shaft. "...Does it get bigger?" Trolls seemed to hold genitalia to high standards. Latula's bulge itself was thicker and longer than Dirk's. Mituna's was smaller than her, but still bigger than Dirk.

Dirk looked at Latula's bulge, brow furrowed as he tried to understand why there was a massive wriggling, super-clit leaving a trail of green fluids on his groin. "If you're disappointed by this, I don't suggest you date humans, we're all about this size. I’d like to think I'm big, but I can't really say that now..."

Latula's bulge stroked at Dirk's groin, smiling sheepishly. "I'm not used to much bigger...hahhh..." Mituna was just thicker than Dirk. But she had also tightened up a lot since the last time she'd been with him. She'd tried the first time he woke up, but it felt too much like she was taking advantage of him.

Dirk's hands stroked up her thighs, groping at her ass and pulling her closer. He brought his face in closer, their breath lingering together. He could feel his dick growing harder as his hands slid up her sides and gently groped her breasts.

Latula moaned softly, her nipples stiffening under Dirk's touch. "Ahh... Don't touch them." It was embarrassing. Her breasts were a lot smaller than most trolls'. She reached down, moaning and spreading out her cunt for Dirk to get in deeper, more teal lubricant sliding down his shaft. She was a very hormonal teenager, after all.

He leaned in, tongue licking over her neck, the smell of her fluids, driving him on. He shifted his hips, pressing up until he had fit his entire length inside her, tightening his arms around her.

Latula did most of the moving, moaning as she was held close. It felt amazing, to finally get some physical relief. She buried her face into Dirk's hair, gasping as a certain part of her was pressed and pushed by the head of Dirk's cock. It prompted a short cry from her, legs going weak and twitching as she tossed her head back.

Dirk started thrusting up into Latula, hands gripping firmly at her hips. He shifter the two of them so Latula was lying on her back, grabbing the backs of her thighs and pushing back her legs, spreading them as he rolled his hips into her.

Latula gladly pulled her legs up- limber and flexible. The rad grinds on her board weren't just for show, they were a great way to get in shape and stay lithe. She mewled and cried out with every thrust inside her, leaking fluids onto the floor beneath her.

Dirk shuddered, hips speeding up, snapping inside the girl. He leaned over her, forearms on either side of her head as he brought their foreheads together.

Their eyes met and Latula grinned, lopsided, her glasses having slipped off a while before. She leaned up and stuck her tongue out, sliding it over Dirk's lips and eventually pressing hers against them, legs snapping around his waist and yanking him in deeper, causing her to arch off the floor.

He opened his mouth for her, their tongues intertwining as they kissed, rough and fast. He gripped her horns for leverage as he kept thrusting, feeling his balls draw up and tighten as he drew closer to orgasm.

"Mmmnn..." Latula wasn't sure if she could physically cum again, but her body sure as hell tried. Her entire body went into spasms and she went partially limp in Dirk's arms, slowly falling against the floor listlessly.

Dirk gripped her body tight before exploding inside her, his comparatively rather unimpressive load spilling inside of her. He pulled out, relaxing back against the sink cabinets behind him.

Latula only managed to dribble out a fraction of what she normally produced- and when she did come, she crashed. She was out of it, totally conking out. One orgasm was tiring, even while asleep, two was damn near impossible to stay awake for.

Dirk sat still for a moment, letting the moment sink in. He looked over Latula's passed out body and sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He couldn't believe that he'd actually had sex with a minor, his student. Someone who trusted him and saw him...well...probably not as a mentor, but she trusted him. He felt like he'd betrayed her, and...Mituna... He was seriously afraid Latula would flip her shit for cheating on Mituna.  
Latula eventually became restless, stretching out. She rubbed her thighs together and slowly opened her eyes before they went wide, lips forming a little 'o'. She realized what she'd done, and...oddly enough, she didn't regret it. She sat up, looking down at the mess beneath her thighs. "Sorry about your floor."

"It's alright, I got it." He shifted over and pulled out the cleaning supplies and getting right to it. Cleaning up quickly before the smell could affect him. He didn't know what to say to her. He didn't regret it...exactly, but he was still a bit more than a tad uncomfortable with it.

Latula looked back towards the bathroom. "Mind if I hop into a shower...?" She didn't want to drown him in hormones again- that seemed to be what had happened... "I need to clean myself up." She was filled with human semen and covered in her own orgasm.

"Sure. You know where the bathroom is." He looked over at her and gave her a small smile. "Go on ahead."

Latula went off to the shower and hopped in, scrubbing herself until she was clean, then hopping out and finding the clothes she'd used before. They fit nicely, she liked them. "Can I use your washing machine to wash my suit, too?"

Dirk looked at the clock, wincing a bit. Roxy and Jane were due back any minute now. "Yeah...sure. I'll go and take it downstairs." He took her suit and trotted downstairs to throw it in the wash with a load of Roxy's. Ever since the incident with the sudsy flooded basement, Dirk and Jane had taken over laundry duties.

Latula debated following after him and looked to the door, wondering if she should go... It was confusing. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to feel good, or bad, or... How should she feel? She had cheated on Mituna- but for some reason it felt...liberating. She didn't love him any less. But it felt...nice.

He came back up and saw her pacing back and forth. He watched for her a moment, but when she didn't notice him he smiled, "You're free to stay if you want. I don't have a way of getting you home, I'm afraid. My friends have the car until..." He glanced at the clock again, "15 minutes ago."  
Latula awkwardly took a seat on the couch and sighed. She felt like she should feel guilty. Guilty about Mituna. But she didn't. She didn't particularly want to do it _again_ , but she didn't regret it. But she did want to go see her matesprit. "It's fine, I'll wait for my suit to be done and then walk home or something." Maybe walk to the hospital.

"You do realize that it's at least an hour walk to your place, right?" He smirked, folding his arms over his bare chest... Oh, he needed a shirt. He went back into the kitchen to pick up his shirt.

"—at's weird, the door's unlocked." Jane and Roxy were returning from their shopping trip with Rose and a semi-reluctant Jade. They all stopped when they saw Latula.

Latula looked up from the couch, and immediately snatched up her glasses from where they'd fallen, sliding them onto her nose. "Um. Hi. I'm Latula." Should she lie about her age...? It felt a little like all of the people in that room hardly had any extedded interaction with trolls, the way they were staring at her. Or maybe it was the fact that she was in their house. That was a better explanation.

"Hi, I've seen you around school on occasion. The skateboard rider." Rose extended a hand. "Are you a friend of Dave's?"

Dirk came out a moment later, slipping back into his shirt. When his head popped through the head hole, he saw the female portion of his family staring at him with varying facial expressions. "This...doesn't look good, does it?"

Latula awkwardly shook Rose's hand and nodded. "I know him." She felt rather prideful that she was known as the 'skateboard rider'. It felt nice to be validated as what she knew she was. "I'm just waiting for...uh...my...clothes." Oh shit, that sounded even worse.  
Rose put a thoughtful hand to her chin. "This is terribly scandalous." It'd make a wonderful plot line for one of her "romance" stories.

"DIRK!" Jane screeched, "What did you DO?!"

"Janey, it's..." exactly what it looks like. "Look, she passed out, I had to bring her somewhere."

Roxy was giggling and snorting behind Jane while Jade awkwardly stepped away from the crowd. She didn't look like she wanted to be involved, yet wanted to keep informed at the same time. "If you're doing that sort of thing now can we have a big sloppy orgy in the living room?" Roxy asked, eyes wide as she thought about the result. She seemed to be enjoying the thought.

Latula didn't exactly feel like she should stick around. "...I'm going to go sit on top of the washing machine and wait until it's done."

"Roxy, what have I told you about orgies?" He rolled his eyes before sighing. "And it's...we'll talk about it later, alright?"

"I'll go talk with her." Rose offered slipping away. Her curiosity was absolutely killing her. She really wished Dave could've been there to see it. Or maybe rather not...he tended to be a bit of a drama queen when it came to his brother."

Latula did just as she said. She went down to where she'd seen Dirk go and sat on top of the washing machine. When she saw Rose coming after her she wasn't sure how to react, so she just tried to let the vibrations of the machine lull her into some sort of security.

Rose hopped up on the dryer and crossed her legs. "You chose well as far as illicit love affairs go. Dirk's a really good man. I admit I'm surprised that such a turn of events came around. We were all under the impression that Dirk leaned more towards men." She reigned herself in before she started rambling. "I'm not going to judge you if you did something with him. I'm merely curious."

Latula could tell that Rose was earnest in her words, but she still had some trepidations. "...We did. But it was a mistake." She should probably still feel guilty. "I have a matesprit." As if that validated it. In fact, it made her look worse. "I mean, I was just washing my rad clothes...and..." Shit.

This would explain why Dirk was asking about Mituna. Well, not exactly. Rose still didn't know his intentions. "Mituna right?"

Latula nodded, hands folded in her lap. "Doing things like this doesn't mean I don't love him," she said automatically, trying to defend Mituna more than she was trying to defend herself.

"I understand. It's natural to be attracted to other people outside of a monogamous relationship." She understood this very well. "Are you going to discuss this with him?"

"...He's not awake." Latula awkwardly stared down into her lap. She was glad that at least she wasn't being given the hammer for infidelity, but...infidelity to someone who was now braindead (kind of) was an entirely different light.

Rose tilted her head as she furrowed her brow a tad. She reached out a hand and was about to say something when the washer beeped. She chuckled a little. "Here, let me switch the laundry over."  
Latula slid off of the washer and opened it up so that Rose could do the deed. She wondered if she should explain... What if Rose gossiped? At least she knew that Dirk couldn't really say anything. Rose was a different story...

"You know your secret's safe with me." Rose assured, sensing Latula fret. "I enjoy a good secret. I feel like it let's me keep the upper hand in a situation. I can assure you that I won't *blackmail* you." She chuckled a little bit as she loaded the dryer, repositioning herself atop it after starting the machine up.  
Latula didn't like the tone of voice. "I don't care, it'd probably make me look even cooler." She was radical, fucking the baddest teacher in school made her even more radical!

"Rest assured, your secret's safe with me. Dirk could get into serious trouble if this gets out." Her face fell into one of slight concern.  
"Yeah, I know. I'm not going to go around blabbing it." She hated the idea of this sort of thing getting out- she couldn't have anyone know that she was going around screwing people. She didn't want to be known as someone who just...slept around because her matesprit was in the hospital.  
Rose nodded, "Though I'm curious about your matesprit: Mituna. Dirk asked us about him, but none of us really know anything about him."

"He's in the hospital." She hoped that Rose would just put it all together. Latula sighed and stared at the timer on the dryer. Why couldn't her clothes dry quicker?

Rose had indeed heard about the accident. It was the biggest new in school for months after it happened. "I'm sorry." She shifted so she sat cross-legged, turning a bit more towards Latula. "What's he like?"

"...He's the sweetest guy ever and I love him more than anything in the world." He hadn't thought about certain consequences and he always tried to impress her, and she was the one who had to live with the guilt. "And I'm never going to stop loving him."

"He's lucky to have you." She could see the weight of a burden in her shoulders. "I hope for both your sakes that he wakes up soon."

"He will." But he wouldn't stay awake long. And he was never the same... "I just want my clothes so I can go home."

"Of course. I'll let you be now." She hopped off the dryer and headed up the stairs.

Latula stayed down until the dryer was done. And when it was done she hastily changed again, jumping up the stairs and nervously edging around the house to get to the door, hoping that she didn't have to deal with this any further.

Dirk was the only one downstairs. He was sitting on the stairs by the door, waiting for Latula. He stood up when he saw her approach. "I'll drive you home."

Latula felt a little awkward getting a ride home, but she just nodded and followed Dirk out. "...Thanks for all this." It did help that he was so helpful to her. "Either my house or the hospital works."

"I'll take you to the hospital." He didn't really look at her, but it was mostly out of guilt. Latula was in such a fragile place at the moment, and she'd come to him, had started to trust him and then he... Well, as long as it never happened again.

"Thank you." Latula didn't think much of their encounter earlier. It had been good physical relief and she didn't care to do it again. But she did want to get back to Mituna and sleep next to him on his hospital bed...

When Latula got upstairs, there were several nurses around Mituna's bed. "Wh-where'thsh Latula! She'th ALWAYTH...sh-she's alwayth, nn, arrrgh!" He gripped his head as he grew frustrated with his inability to produce words.

Latula gasped as she heard his voice and went running to his side, pushing several nurses out of the side and grabbing her Matesprit's hands. "Mituna!" She was so happy. He had finally woken up, he was finally going to be with her for just a little longer.

He perked right up, like a kid on Christmas. "Tula!" He smiled wide as his matesprit approached his bedside. "It'th good—It'th theeing you ith—Theeing ith good cauthe I'm theeing you!"

Latula was almost crying as her eyes watered, clutching at Mituna's shoulders and holding him deep into a hug. "Oh, Mitzy, Mituna, baby..." She couldn't believe he was awake. Every time he fell back to sleep she was afraid he would never wake up again. "I'm happy I'm seeing you too."

He hugged her back, practically purring. "Wath it...I wath thleeping a long time?" Latula was always crying every time he saw her. He could always hear her, like she was talking to him from the other end of an empty tunnel. He'd explained this analogy to her every time he woken up. "LaTULA! I Heard....I-I there...it'th I—there wath thome—thomething...NO! It...errgh! I...FUCK...fuck FUCK!"

"What is it, baby?" Latula knew he was trying to get his words to work for him, and they hardly did. But she listened and she understood. She took his hands and slid into the bed beside him, pulling his head against her chest. His hair was so fluffy and puffed up right after he woke up- he was like a dandelion.

"There...in the—in the tunnel...thomeone elthe. Not juth...there wath more than...than you, more than you." He gripped his head as he tried to hold on to the fragments of thoughts that floated through his mind. "Thecond voithe...an-another...vvvOITHE. THOMEONE ELTHE...I could hear...you and him... but who'th him?"

Latula nodded, stroking at his hair as she tried to soothe him. "I was with a friend. He's been real good to me the last couple days." Okay. Now she definitely felt guilty. She leaned down to kiss him on the lips, holding him close. "I didn't bring your helmet, but I can go home and get it. Do you want to go to the skatepark tomorrow?"

The second it came up it was out of Mituna's mind. "Ohalright!" He grinned. "I-I keep—My board ith-it'th under—it'th under my bed! My thkateboard! I al—I alwayth...I-I alwayth...it-it'th alwayth there!"

Latula smiled and nodded, kissing Mituna again. "Okay, but we have to wait until tomorrow, okay? All the nice nurses are going to talk to you and take tests on you. But I'll be right here with you. And I'll go get your helmet and my board first thing in the morning."

Mituna nodded, much faster than he should've, which wound up making his head throb. He cried out, gripping his hair as the nurses ran forward and did their thing

Latula had to move over and sit on the chair beside the bed as the nurses all took their tests and the doctor came in to ask some questions. And late into the night she was curled right up beside Mituna again, head against his chest. "I'm so glad you're awake."

Mituna grinned, another one of his sides taking over. "You should dreth up like a nurthe and we could totally fuck. It'd be tho frickin hot." He kissed her cheek before spasming again. "Oh...I'm thorry..."

Latula couldn't help but laugh, looking around the hospital room. Whenever Mituna said something like that it usually didn't last, but she did enjoy the points where he was coherent and capable of sexuality. She kissed him back, rubbing up against him. "Don't worry about it. Maybe tomorrow, when we're out of the hospital," she whispered, "I missed you so much."

"I mithed you MORE!" He grinned, perking up, as if he was proud to have come up with the response. He hated that he was in a coma most of the time. He hated that Latula sounded so lonely, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"You're the sweetest thing." Latula peppered Mituna's face with kisses, fingers stroking over his cheeks. "Tell me your favorite number again. And your favorite colours." She needed to make sure he was still him. "And your favorite things in the world."

"TWO!" He cried, grinned, practically bouncing, "Two, two, two!" He put his hand to his chin. "Forgot the other thingth you athked though...thorry..." He kissed her back, all over her face and the top of her head. "I LOVE you, Latula!"

He was definitely still the same. Latula grinned, a few happy tears escaping her. She found his lips and kissed him back, resting her chin on his shoulder and taking deep breaths. "I love you too, Mituna." She ran a hand through his fluffy hair, brushing his horns and curling a few locks between her fingers.

He chuckled for a moment before sliding down in bed and pressing his face into her chest, nuzzling against them and deciding to settle there. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. Minutes later he was snoring.

Latula didn't mind at all where he decided to lay for the night. She was asleep, just like him, until early in the morning when she got up to hike back home and grab Mituna's helmet and her board. When she got back as waited by his bedside for him to wake up.


	5. How to Make an Ass of Yourself

Mituna snapped awake, looking around as if he was assuring himself that he hadn't fallen back into a coma. He grinned up at her before slipping out of bed, stumbling a bit. He hadn't walked in weeks.

Latula waited until he had gained his balance before fishing out his board from under the bed and holding out some clothes so he wouldn't be stuck in the hospital gown. "Let's go to the skate deck." When he was dressed she put the helmet over his fluffy hair and kissed his upturned nose, smiling wide. It was hard, seeing that he so desperately needed that thick helmet now. But she wasn't going to risk anything. "Let's go, okay?" She took his hand and tugged him towards the door.

It was Monday, lunch time, and Dirk was worried. Not the nail-biting, hair pulling type of worried, but he was concerned as to why Latula hadn't come to school that day. He called up her math teacher, just to check and see whether she'd skipped school or his class. "Mr. Vantas. Quick question."

"What do you want strider?" Karkat muttered over his coffee, sulking in his seat. He was a little...down. He didn't know why. He should be happy! Dave hadn't bothered him at all, all day!

"Did Miss Pyrope show up to your class this morning?" He asked, sitting back in his chair, rocking back and forth and making it squeak.

"No, she was marked absent... We didn't get a note, though. I wouldn't be surprised if she dropped out altogether," Karkat snorted. Of course, it wasn't unusual for Latula to miss a few days every month or so.

Dirk took a lot more personal offense than was professional, but he kept it to himself, mostly. "For disrespecting a student like that, I'm sending Dave your way."

"Hey!" Karkat immediately started cussing at Dirk until he was red in the face. ...And yet he was feeling a little more lively.

Dave was not happy to receive that text from his bro, and he mumble his complaints all the way to Karkat's classroom. "You needed something, Mr. Vantas?"

"I didn't need anything, your brother said because I disrespected that Latula whatever girl that he was going to make you annoy me. Hmph. So whatever, take your best shot. Dumb dumb." Of all the insults...

"No, I'm...good, dude." Dave furrowed his brow a bit, "If you don't need anything then I'm out of here." He turned and headed towards the door.

"Dammit, Strider, don't you dare leave!" ...Wait, he hadn't meant that. "I mean, dammit, you're here, why don't you help me with bullshit."

Dave turned around, folding his arms. "Why would I do that? I don't wanna grade papers, or whatever the fuck teachers do. That's lame as hell. Besides, you're not even my teacher. If you want me to stay then just say so"

"Ugh, whatever, put it in your douchenozzle terms. I want you to stay here." Karkat hated admitting it. "Look, I kind of got dickish a while ago, sorry about that, but you're a little shit. I mean...in a good way."

Dave took a minute unraveling what Karkat had said, trying to determine if the apology was just back handed or sincere. Either way he appreciated it. He went over to Karkat's desk and settled himself in his usual place atop it.

"Your brother came in asking about the Pyrope girl, do you know anything that's wrong with her? I mean, I don't care, she does this a lot, but you know anything?"

Dave frowned. Rose had told him most everything last night, but she'd kept her word and kept the sexual part secret, but he knew enough. "She might have gone to see her friend in the hospital."

"She has a friend in the hospital?" Was that the business with the guy who had tried to do some parkour bullshit off a balcony and cracked his head open or something? "Whatever, just tell your brother that he seemed like a worried mess." As much of a mess as Dirk could get.

"That's bullshit." Dave seemed almost offended that someone that barely knew his bro would pick up on something like that before he did. "My Bro doesn't get worried." Bro always made sure everything turned out all right; there was never any reason for him to worry.

"Whatever, just make him not come back to me about dumb things. And make him go talk to Captor about this." He figured that if anyone knew something, it was Sollux.

"Jesus Christ, what am I your guys' errand boy?" He shifted so he was sitting right in front of Karkat, blocking him from whatever it was he was doing. "Do I get a special hat for the job? Maybe one of those classy, pretentious as shit sashes so I can power trip over the other students and hand out demerits like I'm the teachers' little bitch." Wait, no, that was a hall monitor. Same difference, he got the point across.

"Do you want to be my teacher's little bitch or would you rather just skip to the goddamn point and figure shit out for me?" Karkat wasn't in the mood for this. "Unless you'd like me to bend you over right now and we can get to every teenage girls' wet dream." ...Wait that came out wrong.

Dave blinked for a moment, registering what Karkat had said. Was this for real? Was this his chance? Before he could think, he was sliding off the desk and into Karkat's lap. "As long as I get my special hat I'll be your little teacher's bitch any day."

Karkat flipped his shit. He shrieked and flailed about underneath Dave, hands going everywhere as he shook his head. "Wait! Wait, I didn't mean that! Fuckkk!" His favorite word left his lips several times before he went eerily still, looking up at Dave and...waiting.

Dave's lips twisted as he made his choice. He shifted close and leaned in and pressed his lips to his old teacher's, running his tongue over his lips before pulling away. "Still don't mean it?"

Karkat was either incredibly creeped out or having a quiet panic attack, because he still didn't do anything, besides just looking at Dave with his wide eyes, even starting to shake a little. Oh god, oh god, what was he supposed to do?

Dave gave a weak smile. "Guess you do." He slid off Karkat's lap and adjusted his pants. He went over to where he'd dropped his backpack and picked it up. "See ya, Mr. Vantas."

Karkat was flushed bright red as he nervously muttered a 'yeah' and shoved his face into his desk. Fuckkkk.

Dirk looked up surprised when his brother came storming back into his classroom. The bell had rung, but apparently Dave hadn't heard it. He had a full class when Dave came storming in.

"Alright, class. I'll give you this period to do research in the library. Go." He shooed them out. He trusted them to do as he said, as he was a strict teacher, and there'd always be repercussions for not doing what he said.

"I think I'm gonna get laid," Dave said without any verbal foreplay. He just let it tumble out. "Vantas is gonna get plowed." If he was serious, that is... "And don't give other teachers the idea that I'm a goddamn errand boy."

Dirk failed to see the problem here. "Okay. Cool, bro. Then go for it. Just don't get caught, I guess." He folded his arms. "Why'd you interrupt my class?"

"Also, what's up with Vantas thinking you're worried over Pyrope?" Dave didn't see any worry in his bro. Vantas was imagining it...

"Not worried. She just didn't show up and I was checking to see if she was ditching my class or if she'd ditched school all together." What the hell was up with Dave?

With a nod, Dave decided that was proficient information and whipped around on his heels. "I'm going to be grabbing wicked troll wang, don't wait up for me."

Dirk could see that his brother's pride had been hurt. He could see it in the way he walked. He ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair, feeling pretty sure he hadn't seen the last of Dave that day.

Dave strolled down the hall and when he got to Karkat's door he paused, listening to the goings' on inside. It was Karkat's free period, so no one else should be in there...

"Oooow, ow, ow, fuck, Karkat, that hurts!" Their voices quieted down a bit, sounding more like mumbling. "...hard as a rock...too fast....watch...fuck..."

"Space...too tight... Gentle..." Hearing Karkat's voice among those was something that Dave didn't want to hear. Was that what he thought it was...? But Karkat had just... And he thought he had a chance.

"Ah...thanks..." There was rustling and a few minutes later Meenah's shoes were clicking as she walked towards the door.

Dave decided it would be better if he skedaddled out of there. Meanwhile, Karkat was recovering from a bad bonk on the head where he and Meenah had collided on accident and crashed all over the room. And she didn't even hel clean up! The nerve.

Meenah was cradling her head as she stepped out of the room. Damn that Karkat's head was hard as fuck. She looked around. "Oh hey, it's your little cool kid.” She grinned back mischievously at Karkat before turning and leaving.

Dave heard himself be spotted and nervously crept out of his hiding spot as soon as Meenah was out of view. Karkat groaned and looked over, face flushing again. "...Strider."

Dave awkwardly stepped back into the classroom and stood across the room from Karkat. "Sup. Miss me?"

"...That is a goddamned loaded question and I can't answer." Karkat would be lying if he said no.

"I was just kidding. I know you have Meenah now, so I'm just gonna leave you alone." He hit the top of his fist with his open palm. "So I'll just be goin then."

"...I have Meenah now?" Karkat looked around the room, confused as to what that meant. "Peixes just left, she's not here you dumbshit." Unless he meant...? "Wait, what?"

"Look, I get it. You rejected me cause you’re already fucking the principal. I just wish you would've told me sooner so I didn't look like an idiot." He scratched the back of his head.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the fuck up! I am not even gonna _touch_ Meenah! She's a witch!" A very attractive witch that he did hold some admiration for, and one he'd had a crush on in the past, but those feelings were iffy at best. "You, uh...you made an ass of yourself. But I'm not fucking Meenah."

"You're the one that made the first insinuation about bending me over your desk." He countered.

"That was..." Okay, he had made a mistake. Kind of. "I mean.. Well shit, stop cornering me!"

"Okay. Then just say you're not interested and I'll be out of your hair. I'm not going to beat a dead horse." God, sometimes Karkat really acted like a kid.

Okay, Karkat hadn't meant to really...drive Dave away. Had he? "Well...shut the fuck up. I like when you annoy me. So, uh...keep doing it! Maybe we can go out on a candle lit hatedate later."

Dave quirked an eyebrow. "I don't want to hate you, and I like pissing you off, but I don't want you to hate me." Big difference, there...if what he was saying even made sense. "You know, I actually got kinda of excited at what you'd said earlier."

Oh dammit. Now Karkat's feelings were sort of...flip-flopping. "...What kind of excited?" Karkat didn't know how he felt about this. Dammit, was he going to be one of those creepy as hell teachers? "And what do you want to do about it? ...Together, I mean."

"Don't look at me like that, I'm a teenage boy, what do you expect?" He hefted up his backpack as he looked away. "And I don't know what I want to do about it. Boning at least once would be nice, but it's not like I expect chocolate and flowers in my locker, cause that'd just be really creepy."

"Damn right it's creepy! I am _not_ doing that!" Though, Karkat could really identify with that sort of thing... This wasn't that bad, he was realizing. "Fine, fine, get out of here... I guess we'll...er... I mean, just go ahead and come here before school tomorrow."

Dave smiled, not one of his lopsided smirks, but a genuinely pleased smile. "I'll see you bright n early tomorrow morning, teach." He turned and stepped out of the classroom, swagger successfully restored.

Dave's confidence didn't sit well with Karkat, but...he also preferred it that way. Better than having him mopey and accusing him of relationships with Meenah. And he still couldn't quell the little spark of excitement inside him.

Dirk saw his brother strut by and he grinned, guessing that whatever he'd been up to had gone quiet well. Now Dirk just couldn't wait until the end of the day. He had his own business to attend to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't take patients that were recently comatose from hospitals. this has been a PSA


	6. Hello, Nurse

While Dirk was busy with work all day, Latula was busy enjoying a day of fun with her matesprit. They spent some time at the skate deck, then went out to lunch, and were now returning to get some mad grinds down on the pavement. Hopefully they could keep Mituna from getting any more bruises.

When Dirk finally got off work he first went to the hospital, and was surprised to find the room empty. His second guess was the skate park, so he headed straight there.

At the skate park, Latula was chomping down on some cheap nachos while she cheered on Mituna, who had gone a grand five minutes without falling into his face. She was never gladder for that helmet. She looked over towards the entrance on a whim, and was surprised to find that Dirk was walking through.

Dirk walked straight up to her, grabbing a nacho from the tray. "You ditched school." He wasn't angry, he wasn't offended or upset, but he was curious.

"I ditched school," she mirrored, looking over to the half pipe that Mituna was flipping wicked tricks on. She munched on the chips, licking cheese off her fingers. "You came all the way here just for me? I'm flattered, Dirkzy."

He cringed at the nickname, wishing she'd just give up on it. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay." He took another couple chips.

"Well, I'm okay. Nothing out of the ordinary here." Latula nodded and looked up to half pipe again, watching Mituna grind down. He was getting so much better- he was returning to his normal self. Well...she liked to think so anyway.

"That's Mituna right?" Dirk followed her eyes to a rather clumsy boy who just barely managed to avoid a nasty spill on the rail. " I didn't know he was awake."

"He was just waking up when you dropped me off at the hospital. We've been using our time together to our advantage. As much as possible." She wouldn't go to school until he was back in the hospital. Well, unless her guardian forced her.

"So that's why." He grabbed a few more nachos, munching on them. "You can't miss too much school though, or you'll become truant."

Mituna looked back over at where Latula was, grinning and waving at her, his arm slowed and went still when he saw Dirk standing beside her. He was going to make a show of it, hopping on his board and skating over. The board hit a deep crack and he went flying into Dirk's arms with an aggravated cry.

Latula didn't even twitch as Mituna went flying, but she did get up to go check on him, helping him back upright on his feet. "You almost made that one!" She didn't respond to Dirk's comment about truancy, absorbed in Mituna's tricks and his attempt to impress her. "Mituna, this is Mr. Strider. Do you remember him? From school?"

Mituna flailed his arms, accidentally hitting Dirk in the face as he did so. "I—I DON'T KNOW!" He cried, louder than he'd intended. He was particularly flustered right then and was having a harder time making cognitive sentences.

Latula didn't try to restrict him, knowing that would just make the flailing worse. But she took his hand, rubbing it gently, trying to help him calm down. "He's one of the teachers. He's been very good to me while you've been asleep."

Mituna didn't like this. He didn't like it at all. Dirk was tall and muscular and above all else he was cool. He didn't want someone else taking care of Latula. He wanted to be there with her, making her laugh, making her smile. Instead all he did was make her miserable, make her cry as he lay useless in bed. He stuttered and spluttered, trying to get those feelings out.

"Something wrong?" Latula turned to face Mituna fully, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "Look at me, Mitzy. Look at me." When he had finally focused on her she tried to help him calm down, "Deep breaths, alright? Now, try and use your words. What's wrong?"

He let out a little cry as his brain tried to piece it together. He knew that if he said those sorts of things he'd only make Latula upset. "I Fufcking jutht...EMBARRATHED mythelf! Tho...ffffferrr-ucking THTUPID!" He lied, grabbing his head as he took deep breaths, trying to calm down.

"You didn't, silly. No one here would laugh at you, it's perfectly normal to fall down every now and then." Try every single trick. She took his hand and sat him down on the bench before plopping into his lap. She looked back up at Dirk, as if waiting, "Was that all you came for?"

Dirk stared for a moment, clearly lost in thought before he snapped out of it. "Yeah, just making sure you weren't just ditching my class and were out doing something important." He ruffled her hair a bit. "I'll be on my way then."

"I'll see you at school." Unfortunately, Latula would actually have to go back at some point. But for now she was with Mituna. She leaned her head against Mituna's shoulder, taking a few deep breaths. Then got an idea. "Do you remember what you said about the nurse outfit?"

He grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You gonna be my naughty nurthe?" He kissed her neck and the side of her face.

"I might. Do you want to stop by the halloween stores?" At this time of year the seasonal stores usually just sold sexy uniforms for teenagers and middle aged couples looking for a cheap thrill.

"Fuck yeah!" He grinned, getting up from the bench. He was so proud of himself for remaining in a cognizant state of mind. He picked up his board and took her hand, dragging her off.

Latula was riding her board casually down the street. They stopped by the halloween stores, which were more than happy to get some customers. She picked out the nurse outfit for Mituna, holding his hand with a giggle. "Want anything else, baby?"

He looked around, grabbing a giant top hat that was just a bit too big for his head and put it on. "Thith! Maketh me look clathy ath fuck!" It slid down over his face, hiding his eyes and nose.

Laughing, Latula nodded and went on to pay for the items before they headed home, plopping Mituna's new hat right on his head, watching it wobble all the way home. They headed back to her house, being waved through the gate and pulled Mituna up into her bedroom. No one was home, her guardian was at work and wouldn't be home for a while.

Mituna laid out on her bed, running his fingers over the familiar sheets. He twirled his gentleman's hat as he waited for Latula to finish changing.

Latula changed in the bathroom, and when she was done she rest in the doorway, leaning against the frame. "Mr. Captor, I think you've got a fever~" She slowly stalked forward, brushing a hand over his temple and throwing a leg over his body, straddling him easily.

"Ith it theriouth, nurthe?" He put his hands on her thighs, rubbing over the strip of skin between the thigh high stockings and the bottom of her barely modest dress. His hands went down, fingers slipping inside her stockings. "Maybe you should take a-a clother look."

"I'm not sure, I might have to take a big test..." It was always nice when Mituna was coherent enough to express his sexuality. Latula, pulled the skirt up a little, showing off the red and white polka dot panties, her wriggling bulge fighting to get out. "Gonna have to take your pants off, Mr. Captor."

Mituna spasmed for a moment before he was able to bring it back together. "My-My pantth!?" He reached forward and pulled up her dress with this thumb and index, his middle finger tickling over her bulge. "Wh-What a nnnnAUGHTY nurthe you are!"

Latula yelped as her bulge was touched. Dirk hadn't really bothered to touch her there... It was nice to be touched in all her sensitive spots. She moaned and rolled into his hand, reaching down to help relieve him of his pants.

Mituna's bulges writhed around each other, having gone untouched for ages. "I want you to-t-to take real good care'a me Mithh Nurthe." He grinned, "Cauthe th-thith—I'm—thith gentleman'th gonna take r-REAL good care of you!"

"Well, I thought I should be the one taking care of you, Mr. Captor," Latula whispered as she kissed him gently, her dripping, teal flushed bulge twisting between his bifurcated twin bulges. "Hahh... Oh, baby, ohh~" She mewled and tossed her head back, glasses going askew. She shakily pulled them off, grinding down on Mituna and yanking the panties down. She needed it bad.

Mituna reached up and ripped the costume open, the buttons flying all over the room. Oh well, Porrim could fix it later. His hands slipped under her bra, pushing it up over her breasts. He leaned in and sucked gently, arms wrapping around her.

Latula yelped and gripped Mituna's shoulders, moaning and reaching down to spread out her nook, teal liquid dripping down. "Oh, baby... It's waiting."

Mituna's bulges writhed around each other for a moment before one of them plunged inside her, the other going up to twist with Latula's teal one.

Latula yelped as she was so suddenly filled. "Ahh, M-Mituna, baby, use both," she whispered, reaching down to grip the bulge that wasn't penetrating her. "I can fit it in, don't worry about me."

The bulge inside her curled, pressing against her walls and stretching her wide, spreading it for the other to join. He gripped her hips, letting out a garbled cry as both his bulges delved inside his mate.

Latula cried out as she was filled up twice as much. "Ohh...hahh, Mitzy, baby, come on, more..." Her own bulge delved down, flicking at his nook, but unsure ultimately if she could indulge in her own desires of penetration.

"Y-Yes, nurse!" Mitiuna spasmed, his nook twitching when he felt the bulge flicker over it. He groped at her body as his bulges writhed inside her. He flipped them over, looking down at his girl with a grin. She really was the best in every regard.

Latula yelped as they were flipped, but easily regained her theoretical footing, snapping her legs around Mituna's hips and then plunging her bulge into Mituna's waiting nook, both of them moving easily and fluidly against one another. Mituna was so good to her...

Mituna bit his lip as they thrust inside each other. "Tula...I lo' you... 'n you're sssexy as FUCK!"

"You are too, baby, you are too... I love you so much," Latula returned, pulling Mituna down to nibble at his bottom lip, accidentally knocking their mouths together awkwardly.

He giggled, rubbing their noses together before kissing her, tongue running across her lips. He was already leaking pre; it wouldn't be long now.

Latula was the one to cum first, spraying genetic material inside of Mituna's nook and tossed her head back, plenty of excess leaking over Mituna's bulges as well. Her nook tightened up around him, trying to milk his own orgasm out of him, arms pulling tight around his shoulders as she started to cry, wanting nothing more than to just be as close as possible to him.

Mituna came hard, deep inside his matesprit. He shook with the intense pleasure of his orgasm. He pulled out and flopped down next to her, crushing the long-forgotten top hat beneath him. "Agh! My-My hat!" He saved the cheap, crumpled accessory from his naked posterior and placed it on his head before pulling Latula into his arms and gently kissing the top of her head.

Latula couldn't help but laugh, kissing at his face as they slowly untangled their body parts from one another, double the normal amount of genetic material spilling from her nook. She awkwardly tried to get comfortable, feeling oddly empty, before she pulled Mituna's head against her chest. "You don't need a hat to make you handsome."

Mituna frowned against her chest, nuzzling his face into her breasts. How could he be blessed with such an amazing girl? He, who's head was riddled with scars; he who could barely put two thoughts together long enough to be fully aware of what was going on half the time. She didn't deserve someone like him. "I wanna...be handsome for you."

"You'll always be handsome to me, no matter what happens. Even if your face is put through a shredder, you're never gonna be ugly to me, Mitzy." Latula placed on hand on his chest, hearing the heartbeat as she leaned down to bury her face into his fluffy hair. "You're the most handsome man in the world, and that's that."

"Better fuckin believe it!" He chuckled his slightly less than sane chuckle, mind momentarily slipping into the abyss before he got a reign on it. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry." Latula reached down and grabbed the blankets, tugging it up around them. "Now, come on, baby, let's take a nice, long, relaxing nap."

Mituna nodded, burying his face in the pillows. He was almost asleep when the doorbell rang.

Latula wasn't asleep- far from it. She left Mituna asleep in her bed and ran down in her underwear, thinking it was just her guardian, forgetting her keys, or unable to find the lock again. She opened it up, already talking out about how ridiculous she was- "Did you forget the keys ag- ...Oh." She awkwardly hid behind the door as she saw Dirk.

Dirk's eyebrows shot straight up, his eyes widening. "Sorry, you forgot your phone at the park, must've fallen out of your pocket. I was just going to return it to you, but it looks like you're...busy..."

"...I am. I wonder how you managed to guess that, eh, Rad-Strad?" She tried to joke around, awkwardly coming out into the open to hold out her hand. She couldn't be afraid; she couldn't show fear. Coolkids could smell fear. "Well?"

He refused to allow his eyes to travel anywhere below her chin. He held out the phone above her head, just outside of her reach. "Here you are."

Latula took her phone, then realized she didn't have any pockets to put it in. "Well..." She looked around and opened the door a little wider. "Come on in, I guess. I'll be right back." She left the door open, just assuming that Dirk would either come in or shut it for her upon his leave before she ran up the stairs, throwing on some clothes, running into the bed several times in her scrambling.

Mituna woke up, but Latula was already on her way out the door. "Tula?" He struggled for a moment with his pants, putting them on backwards before getting it right and heading downstairs. When he saw Dirk in Latula's house he was very, very unhappy.

Now that Latula was dressed, she was actually more willing to interact with Dirk. "So, uh...sorry about the mess." Her house was all over the place. That was what happened then your guardian was blind and kept trying to leave her cane behind, claiming how she didn't need it and would just use her other four senses. She didn't notice Mituna, miraculously.

"No, it's alright. Didn't really come over for a home inspection. Just to drop off your phone...and make sure you're okay." He sat back on the couch. "I don't worry about people very easily, but..." He ruffled his hair, sighing a bit.

"Well, I'm perfectly alright." Latula managed to crack a smile, turning around to the kitchen and seeing Mituna out in the corner of her eye. "Oh, Mituna. Come on out here and sit down." She didn't like him standing on the stairs... "I'll be right back." With that, she disappeared into the kitchen, holding to get them some snacks.

Mituna frowned, tightening his grip on the banister as he made his way down. His foot caught the edge of the stair and he slipped down the last three stairs, crying out with an agitated "FUCK!"

Dirk awkwardly stepped forward, kneeling down and touching Mituna's shoulder. "Are you alright?" He was pretty clumsy... Latula must have her hands full, always caring for him when he was awake. She was dedicated.

"DON'T YOU—fffffuck-fffuckin.....DON'T TOUCH ME!" He cried, flailing his arm in an attempt to bat Dirk's arm away. He'd get to his feet on his own, dammit!

Dirk pulled back immediately, eyes going wide. "Chill, chill, I was just trying to help you up." Dirk nearly jumped back at just how lightning quick Mituna was to defend himself. Maybe he didn't like being helped up. He looked over at the kitchen, surprised Latula hadn't heard that and come running. He looked back, rubbing the back of his neck. "So... You and Latula are close, right?"

"She—shuh-sheee...uhn, ahhgh!" He gripped his head, shaking it a bit, "My matesprit! MINE! So FUCK OFOFF!" He fell over into Dirk, his mental switch flipping again, "I'm thorry..."

Dirk awkwardly caught him, unsure of the sudden switch. Latula came running and took the weight off of Dirk, helping Mituna sit on the couch. "Mituna... Baby, look at me." She cupped his cheeks and waved two fingers in front of his eyes, trying to get him to focus on it. She really hoped he hadn't stressed him out so much that he... No, no, no... It was too soon. She was fine, she still had time.

Mituna was completely unresponsive, his breathing uneven, like he was choking.

"Hey, hey, is he..." No, of course he wasn't okay. "Let me drive you two to the hospital" He couldn't help but feel as if this was all his fault.

"I-I should call 911..." Latula wasn't sure which was faster, waiting for the EMS or having Dirk drive them. "Nevermind, I'll just call the nurse at the front desk, she knows about this." She pulled Mituna up to his feet, one of his arms hoisted over her shoulder. "Come on!"

Dirk helped by grabbing the other arm, pulling the limp body along as they darted to his car. He looked at the boy, completely still in his arms except for the shaky breathing.

Latula jumped into the backseat with Mituna, laying him down on her lap and hoping it would help him breathe easier. She kept her head down, ear over his mouth to make sure he kept breathing, pumping his chest every now and then to give him a boost. She looked out the windows every other minutes, already bawling. It was too soon. Three days wasn't enough.

Dirk couldn't even look at them in his rearview. He kept his eyes trained on the road as he made a mad dash for the hospital. Before he could even pull into a proper parking space, Latula was hopping out of the car with Mituna. "Latula, let me help."

"No, just- you've done enough, leave us alone!" Latula didn't know why she was lashing out at Dirk, he _was_ just trying to help. But she just dragged Mituna up into the hospital without hearing another word, getting him checked into the hospital as quickly as possible.

Dirk's head jerked back in surprise. He could understand how she'd be upset, so he tried not to take it personally. He frowned before getting back in his car and driving back home slowly, lost in thought.

Dirk ignored the concerned questions of his friends as he tromped inside. He brushed it off as nothing, saying he just had to prepare for the lesson tomorrow. He lay out on his bed, seriously hoping that his camaraderie with Latula hadn't been smashed to pieces.

Latula ended up staying the night at the hospital, crying and curled up beside Mituna's motionless form on the bed, hooked up to all his machines once more. She didn't go to school again- she just needed to stick with her Matesprit and hold him for a little longer, hoping he would wake up again.


	7. That V-Card Swagger

The next morning, Dave awoke bright and early. Karkat had told him to come in early that day, and there was no way he was missing out on his chance. His stomach flip-floped with butterflies as he walked through the nearly empty halls. _'Keep cool,'_ his inner mantra repeated, _'just keep cool.'_

Karkat was asleep at his table, snoring at the desk and grunting quietly. He wasn't exactly well rested, and he had completely forgotten that Dave was coming over. He was afraid of doing something with him, but at the same time he was excited to see Dave. His head was rested in his arms, snoring away with a pen digging into his papers. He was totally out of it.

Dave opened the door and stepped inside. He'd had everything he was going to say down pat. As he opened his mouth to speak, but a snore interrupted him. He stopped and looked at the sleeping troll, putting his bag down in one of the seats and walking over to him, putting his elbows on the desk as he watched the man sleep. He reached up and began to fiddle with his hair and his horns, quietly observing.

There was a small whine as Karkat's horns were toyed with, the little nubs rather sensitive. He rolled his head onto his other arm and shivering under the fiddling. Karkat didn't wake for several minutes, and when he did he jerked up as he realized Dave was there, sputtering out nonsense. "W-what the hell are you doing, fucker?"

Dave stayed leaning on the desk a moment longer before straightening up. "You forgot, didn't you?" He sighed, "Remember? Yesterday? You told me to come in early? Any of this ringing a bell?"

"What? No, I mean... Of course I remember, dumbass. It's not like I just fucking forgot about the whole point of asking you here!" He remembered the point, of course, but he had awkwardly forgotten Dave was coming. "I mean...so... How do we go about this?"

Dave sat up on the desk. "We can start by you getting your ass over here." He grabbed Karkat's sleeve, gently tugging him over by him.

Karkat flushed candy red, nervously following after Dave and sitting beside him. He had a feeling Dave wanted him closer, but he wasn't sure if he could actually initiate that all by himself. He'd never done anything like this with a student! Sure he'd pailed before, but never with someone younger, much less a human...

Dave was suddenly equally nervous, but he tried to keep cool. He reached up and cupped Karkat's face, making him face him before pressing their lips together.

Karkat yanked back, whimpering and blushing, cheeks red as he pushed his face into his hands. When he realized how potentially hurtful those actions could be, Karkat peeked through his fingers. "...Sorry, never been with a human before."

Dave slouched where he sat, hand running over his face. "Yeah, I gathered." He let out a long sigh. He was beginning to have serious doubts about this whole thing. Pursuing after Karkat had been filled with more let downs than actual progress.

Karkat could see the disappointment in Dave's face, and he decided to rectify that. He jumped into his lap and grabbed his face. "Well, guess I've got to teach this puny human how the hell to pail with a troll..." Minus the pail part. There were no buckets anywhere near him and he wasn't going to let one come close. So he would rather just make a mess.

"Ahh!" Dave flinched, startled, by Karkat's sudden flip of attitude. His face tinged pink when he suddenly had a lap full of teacher. He was still just a virgin 15 year old with raging hormones, after all. He leaned in and pressed their lips together again; a little unsure and afraid that Karkat might just jerk away again.

Karkat didn't pull away again. He kissed Dave in peppered bursts, all over his cheeks and giving longer kisses on the lips as he slowly inched his hands down to grope at Dave's pants. He started to unbutton them, reaching in to grip his shaft. He grunted in surprise, eyes going wide. He'd seen pictures of human cocks, but never thought they felt so...awkward.

Dave gripped at Karkat's shirt, burying his bright red face in his teacher's neck. He couldn't help but buck his hips up into Karkat's hand. His hands shakily began to undo Karkat's shirt, slowly working it off his shoulders.

"Human bulges are so fucking weird," Karkat muttered as he wiggled out of his clothing and nervously looked down at his nook, his bulge tucked away since he wasn't aroused. "Uh...it's not out yet."

"Hey, this is a man's pride." Dave looked down at Karkat's crotch, not quite sure what he should do. "Uhm...how do I... You know, what do I do with it...?"

"Give me a minute, dammit!" Karkat flushed again and awkwardly reached between his legs to start stroking himself, moaning and flicking the little nub at the top of his nook. The more fluid that leaked from his folds, the more a rather long and thick bulge began to emerge. "I-it takes a minute for it to...hahh, come out if I'm not aroused..."

Dave couldn't stop staring at it. He'd never seen anyone else's...business outside of porn before and it was weird to see this thing writhing about. He got down off the desk and kneeled down and brought a hand up to gently stroked at the bulge.

“Hahhh... B-be gentle, doofus...ahhh!" Karkat was mostly just shouting that out in an attempt to curve his own nervousness. "O-okay, so...n-normally trolls penetrate each other at the same time, how do you do that with humans?" He just assumed he would be able to penetrate Dave too- despite how his bulge wasn't nearly big enough to reach around and penetrate Dave.

Dave tried to be gentle as he brought both hands up to slowly pump the bulge. "Sorry teach, but with humans it's either you give or you take. Unless you're really flexible." He took his hands away to push his pants and boxers down to his knees before taking Karkat's length back in his hands, tongue flicking over the tip experimentally.

Karkat hissed as his bulge was licked. That felt...odd. "Ahhh, a-asshole, you're not supposed to lick it!" It mostly moved for itself, it wasn't really meant to be handled... But damn that felt...kinda nice. "I mean, uh...keep going."

Dave looked up at Karkat before taking the bulge in his amateur mouth. Karkat's bulge was too big for him to fit it all it was definitely bigger than his own, by far.

"Hahhh..." Karkat's bulge gladly wriggled down Dave's mouth on its own, sliding down easily, probably choking him. But it seemed to be enjoying itself, and Karkat was _definitely_ enjoying himself.

Dave gagged, eyes tearing up in response as the bulge choked him. He had to pull away, wiping a bit of red tinted drool from the side of his mouth. "...Fuck..."

"Hnngg... You're f-fuckin...ridiculous... Dumb humans," he muttered indignantly, a bit of drool escaping his own mouth. He slid a hand down to press a couple fingers inside himself, spreading and stretching it out. "Shit!"

Dave watched as Karkat spread his nook, a slight grin forming on his face. "You know, teach, usually the fantasy is teachers banging their students, not the other way around."

Karkat flushed angrily and cuffed Dave over the top of the head. "Sh-shut up! It'll be easier this way." It was just...easier if he was the one being penetrated, if it was take it or levae it with humans.

"Ow." He rubbed at his head a bit. "And you were talkin about bending me over and making me the teachers' bitch. Really, teach, I'm surprised at you." He stood up. He was still a bit shorter than Karkat, but once he'd have his growth spurt that would all change.

"Well...if you wanted me to bend you over then that's all you had to say, douche nugget." So long as Karkat got some penetration of his own. He wished Dave's dick was flexible enough for that...

Dave's smirk faltered as his face began to burn. He tried to keep cool about it, keeping his snarky attitude. "Only if you think you can handle this ass, teach."

"If you really want it then bend over!" Karkat snarked, not playing around as he bristled with indignation. Whenever Dave dared challenge him, he would accept.

Dave turned around and bent over the desk, resting on one elbow as his other hand went back to spread his ass. "Make me live that schoolgirl fantasy, teach."

Karkat flushed again, gripping his bulge and awkwardly positioning itself. It was more than willing to plunge deep into Dave's hole, groaning as it wriggled within the hot tunnel and delved even deeper. "D-dammit..."

"Ahh!" Dave bit his forearm as his virgin hole was taken. He shuddered, trying to relax his body. He'd tried a couple fingers before, but the bulge that was wriggling inside him now was considerably bigger.

Karkat's bulge was self-lubricating at least, and not only that, but he was dripping red liquid down his thighs. He groaned, reaching down to stroke at his nook while his bulge wriggled and thrust inside of Dave eagerly. He didn't really have to do much of the work himself, his anatomy sort of had a mind of its own.

Dave took a shaky breath as he started to push back against Karkat, hand reaching down to stroke his eager cock. When he felt the bulge curl against his prostate he just about jumped out of his skin, letting out a whine of pleasure followed shortly by a string of expletives.

Karkat didn't know what to do with his hands. One was busy pleasuring his nook while the other randomly groped at Dave's side, before he finally decided to swat Dave's hand away and furiously stroke, wanting to be the one to touch him.

Dave clawed at the desk, gritting his teeth. He could feel it rocking beneath him with the force of Karkat's thrusts. He couldn't believe his fantasy was finally coming to life. "Fuck...teach..." he groaned, looking back over his shoulder at Karkat.

"D-don't look, you idiot!" Karkat flushed as he saw the look on Dave's face. "You look..." Like an angel; a very dumb angel, but a sexy angel all the same. "I mean- dammit." His words betrayed him. Again. "I mean, shut up and enjoy it like me!"

Dave grinned, "I am." He felt Karkat's bulge hit his prostate again. "Ohhh, fuck, Vantas... Do that again..."

"I-I can't really...do it on purpose." He could attempt to...telepathically attempt to control his bulge, he supposed.

"Nnn...Kar..." He moaned, reaching back and grabbing Karkat's hip. He stood up and twisted his head around, pressing a kiss to the corner of Karkat's mouth.

Karkat yelped as his eyes widened, blushing nervously. But he did kiss back. He slid his hands through Dave's hair and awkwardly meshed their noses together.

Dave ran his hand up through Karkat's hair, gripping at his horn as he started leaking pre. He wasn't going to last a whole lot longer.

Karkat yelped as his horns were grabbed, crying out as he busted inside of Dave. All his cum started to leak out around his bulge, which was quickly softening. "Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckkkk!"

"Oh, oh, oh, fuck, fuuuuck, Mr. Vantas....." He felt like he was about to burst when he finally came, spilling his seed over the desk and his older counterpart's hand. He felt himself go limp, his legs shaking as he struggled to stand. "Shit...so much...better than my own hand..."

Karkat flushed and nervously pulled back, his bulge flicking lazily before going limp. He awkwardly flopped back into a share, flushing nervously. "Oh g-god..." That was so damn embarrassing.

Dave leaned back over the table, making sure not to lie in his mess. Red-tinted genetic fluid was running down his legs as it leaked out his ass. He took the moment to catch his breath, looking back at Karkat, hoping to god his teacher didn't regret this.

Karkat had to sit and take a few deep breaths, then nervously took Dave's hand and yanked him into a chair beside him, not knowing what to say. "Do...do we cuddle or something?".

Dave sighed, leaning up against Karkat. "Yeah...I suppose we would if I didn't have class in 15 minutes." He sighed again, standing up slowly. God, his ass was killing him. "I'm gonna go clean up. You might wanna wash your desk off."

Karkat nodded nervously and went to get paper towels, rubbing down his desk and then mopping up what genetic material had fallen to the ground. He looked over at Dave, nervously. "So...what are you going to do?"

Dave wiped off his legs before yanking up his pants. "Well, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, empty my ass, and then I'm gonna go to class." He went over to his teacher, hiding the limp as best he could, and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry, I'll be back to annoy you at lunch."

Karkat flushed angrily once more, and started to curse and shout. But as soon as Dave was halfway out the door he muttered out a _'see you then, dickburger'_ under his breath. He definitely looked forward to that meeting.

Dave walked out of Karkat's classroom with that 'I just had my v-card swiped' grin and just general aura about him. He figured he could stop by his brother, maybe brag a little.

Dave had a noticeable limp in his hips, but he most definitely did not carry shame. No one who had just banged the teacher of their dreams ever felt shame, and he wanted to brag about it, badly so. He dropped by his bro's room and crossed his arms, staring at him with a shit-eating grin on his face. He didn't care if he was showing expression to the one person he never wanted to be expressive to, he had duty of bragging to do.

Dirk looked up at his bro, his eyebrows furrowing for a moment before they shot up above his glasses. "You didn't."

"You have no idea how much I did." Dave stood, with his proud limp and arms crossed, smug and accomplished. "That alien vagina now belongs to the awesome Dave Strider."

"You were totally Vantas' bitch, don't even try." He sat back in his chair. "Well, congratulations on getting your ass pounded." He grumbled as he sat back, running a hand over his face. "That all you wanted?"

Dave wasn't even deluded by the fact his brother knew he bottomed; he just really wanted to rub his face in it. "Well, maybe you should take my advice, I mean which one of here has successfully _kept_ a relationship with a troll."

"Dave, shut the fuck up." He snapped. He really didn't want to talk about this. His...whatever with Latula wasn't as simple as all that. Oh gods, how he wished it was.

Dave heard the seriousness in Dirk's voice and immediately lay off the taunting. "What happened between you, anyway?"

Dirk looked over at his little brother, sighing deeply. Before he could stop himself, verbal vomit was spewing from his mouth. "She's already in a relationship with Mituna. I mean how fucked up is it that I make a student 10 years younger than me cheat on her comatose boyfriend. It's fucked up in every god damn way." He banged on his desk in frustration.

"You could do that kismetfish thing or something, the one where you hatefuck one another." Though Dave had to agree, that was incredibly fucked up. "I mean, I don't really understand it, but I bet you could."

"I don't want to hate fuck her. I don't even know if I want to fuck her. I just...she's pissed at me cause..." Cause it was probably his fault that Mituna went back into a coma. "You know what, just...get the fuck out of my classroom. Go...empty your ass or some shit, just get out of here."

Dave wasn't shocked that his brother wanted him to get the hell out, but instead of giving the usual sass, he decided he would just back off and let Dirk do what he thought best, going to do exactly that: empty his ass.


	8. Keeping it Classy

Dirk sighed as his students filed in. He was obviously not himself. His students could tell that something was wrong with their favorite teacher. A few people came up to him to ask what was the matter, but he remained enigmatic as always. He couldn't wait until the period both he and Jake had off. He slipped out of his room to find his friend and talk to him. Jake would help him straighten things out.

Jake was dorking up his new computer with stickers and pictures of blue women taped to the margins. He looked up when he saw Dirk and grinned. "Evening, mate! Oh, you look glum. Something to do with that little alien gal of yours?"

Dirk sighed, closing the door behind him. "I really fucked up, Jake. I mean I fucked up when I teased her all those weeks ago and I fucked up when I...fucked her." He looked up at Jake uneasily, "She hates me right now, I'm damn sure of it."

Jake wasn't surprised to hear something had happened between the two, and he wasn't particularly bothered. While a relationship with a student was...perturbing, their own relationship was very open. If Roxy's advances were anything to go on. "Why does she hate you? Did you give her a bad case of the willies? In more than one way, haha!"

"I wish it was that simple." He leaned up against Jake's desk and explained, start to finish what had happened. He didn't spare a single detail. He just wanted to get this all off his chest, and who better to go to than his best bro.

Jake nodded along to Dirk's story, his big grin slowly turning down into a frown. "Well...that is quite the tale of adventure. Not a very fruitful one." He certainly hoped he could help. "Don't you think that you should talk to her?"

"She hasn't been coming to school. She was really pissed the last time she saw me, I wanna wait till she cools off." He sat down in Jake's lap. "This is so uncool of me."

"Mate, I don't think the thing you should be worrying about is being cool!" Then again, it was Dirk of all people. "You say her mates-whatsits is in a coma? Do you really think it was you who put him in the chills?"

"I don't know, dude. I don't know anything about comas." He sighed, "I never should've gotten into it with her."

"Well how were you supposed to know she had a boytoy on ice!" Jake really knew how to say it in a way that got someone thinking. "Well, whenever she comes around is when you're going to have to get into the talking thing with her."

"Cause she told me. I actually saw him...before we fucked." He admitted awkwardly. "Yeah, but until she does, can we just...fuck and forget about it?"

"Well, at least I have some idea of how you charm the ladies." Jake laughed and cupped Dirk's cheeks to pull him in and plant a smooch on his lips. "I am more than happy to comply, chap!"

"You've discovered my secret, English." He smirked, kissing back. "How long do we have?" He groped at Jake's groin as he straddled him. He just wanted to get absorbed in the moment and forget about Latula, if only for a little while.

"Half an hour. We can through this that quickly, eh, quickshot?" Jake teased as he kissed even harder against Dirk and ground up against him, already reaching to get rid of their pants.

"Well, I know _you'll_ definitely make it in time." He teased, shedding all the clothing that got in the way.

With all the fabric out of the way, Jake kissed and pushed up deep in Dirk, glad to finally have a moment of intimacy with his best bro. Even if it didn't come at the brightest point of the day, it was contented and heated and warm, flushed up against one another as their bodies ground against one another like perfect cogs in a machine.

Dirk gripped at his friend's bronze skin, nails dragging across it as he kissed over Jake's face, biting at his lips. His hips rocked down, feeling his ass stretch, moaning at he was filled by Jake's length.

Jake picked him up and without a second's hesitation he swiped everything off his desk and slammed Dirk down on it to get a better angle. He buried his face into the nape of his neck as he pounded into him with every thrust, twisting to hit that one spot inside him.

"Oh, _fuck,_ Jake!" He winced, gripping the dark hair as his legs snapped around Jake's hips. Feeling their bodies grind together, feeling the snap of Jake's hips as he pounds into him. He mewled quietly as his prostate was hit.

Jake was ruthless with his thrusts, head thrown back in a cry as he was squeezed particularly tight. He happened to catch a glance over at the door, and immediately froze. "...D-Dirk." Latula was standing in the door.

"Fuck don't stop!" Jake stopped with his dick pressed up against Dirk's prostate. He came, not noticing Jake's horror at being caught until he was already starting to come down. "What're you—" He sat up on his elbows and followed Jake's line of sight. "Oh..." He flopped back down on the desk, covering his face. "Jake, get off me."

Jake didn't get a chance to cum, but he could leave it for right then. He pulled back and sat in his swivel chair, nervously spinning away from them so they could have at least some meager privacy. Latula didn't look at all shocked to see what she was seeing, but she did seem...hurt.

Dirk grabbed his shorts and at least had the decency to cover himself up a bit as he wiped his own cum from his chest. "We can talk after school."

"Don't bother." Latula turned around immediately, tears itching in her eyes. She could tell she wasn't exactly welcome in such an intimate situation, so she left, a great big atmosphere of awkward and upset in her wake.

Dirk flopped back on the desk. "How did she even find me..." He quickly sat up again and got quickly got dressed. "Sorry to end this on abrupt note yet again, English."

"It's no problem, not like I'm dying over here or anything!" Jake was having a problem with how little relief he was ever getting at this point. "By all means, tally-ho!"

Dirk laughed, kissing Jake on the cheek. "I'll make it up to you when we get home." And with that, he left, hoping he could catch up to Latula.

Latula was idly kicking herself along down the hall on her skateboard, wiping away at the tears in her eyes. She didn't know why she was bothered over this. She had just come to yell at Dirk, about what had happened... Maybe not yell _at_ him, but she needed to shout.

Dirk didn't have a whole lot of time. The bell would be ringing any minute now an he had to find her before the halls filled up. Eventually he finally he heard her wheels rolling across the cheap linoleum. "Miss Pyrope!" he wished he didn't have to speak so formally, but they were in a public space.

"What do you want?" Latula demanded, voice rathed snappy and tone harsh. She didn't reallt want Dirk to come after her- but at the same time she couldn't help but gravitate towards him.

"You came looking for me for a reason." He stopped, keeping a respectful distance when he noticed she was crying.

"Yeah, because I was going to tell you I'm switching out of your class." A blatant lie, but she wasn't going to give in and just tell him she had come to talk to him about her problems.

Dirk was taken aback, so much so that he hadn't even remembered to hide it, not completely. "Really." He folded his arms, looking down at the floor for a moment before looking back at Latula. "That the truth? Or are you just saying that because you don't want to tell me what's going on."

"I'm switching out. There, I told you." She might as well, seeing how this entire situation with them had panned out. Latula wiped at her eyes and just started to scoot along on her board a little more. She was going to go home and cry, because she didn't know what else to do.

"Latula, wait—" The bell rang and the halls were almost instantly flooded with kids. Even with her easily identifiable appearance, he was unable to keep up, and lost her in the crowd. He sighed, turning away and heading back to his classroom. If she wasn't going to talk to him, then there was next to nothing that he could do. An idea struck him, igniting a bit of hope towards the situation. He just hoped that she'd show up for her Saturday detention. His plan counted on it.

Latula did indeed show up to her Saturday detention. But she had requested another teacher. And unfortunately, she was informed that no other teachers had shown up, and she was all alone with Mr. Strider again. She took her time getting there, over ten minutes late than when she was supposed to have shown up.

Dirk was sitting at the desk, feet propped up as he sat with his laptop on his lap. He didn't take his eyes off the screen when he heard the door open and slam shut. "If you were late to spite me, I can tell you right now that I don't give a rats ass."

Latula was slightly taken aback by the tone of voice, but she didn't let it get to her. "I was late because I don't want to be here," she spat right back, feeling some mixed emotions battle in her head. The room felt almost...heavy with black feelings. To her, anyway.

"I know, but there was no other way I'd be able to talk to you." He closed the laptop and finally turned to look at her. "I want to know what you were really going to talk to me about that day you walked in on me and Mr. English for the second time. If it was just about switching classes you wouldn't have gone looking for me."

Latula grit her teeth and stared down into her lap. "I was going to talk about Mituna. And...and us."

Dirk's face softened a tad. "Fair enough." He got up from behind the teacher desk and went to sit in one of the student's seats. "How is he?"

"The same as he usually is." Unresponsive. She wanted him to wake up and give her a big smile and tell her that same silly analogy of the tunnel. She wanted to kiss him all over and take him skating and hold his hand... She wanted to be able to talk to him as more than just a sleeping ghost.

"I'm sorry." Dirk couldn't help but feel at least partially responsible for Mituna slipping back into a coma, prematurely judging by Latula's reaction. "I'm really sorry."

"It's fine. He's fine." Latula wasn't fine, though. She had a lot of healing to do before she could consider herself 'fine'. She just wanted her Matesprit back. The more she thought about it, the more she had to fight back tears.

"Maybe, but you're not." He sighed, "Latula, despite what you think, you're still just a kid. And you're shouldering a lot all by yourself. I...well, I don't do this often, but I worry about you. A lot more than what's probably appropriate."

"Well you shouldn't worry about me." Latula was a rad girl, she could take care of herself. "I don't need any help with this, I'm...I'm..." Alone.

Dirk got up and hugged her, whether she wanted it or not. He didn't say anything as he held her to his chest.

Latula could say she didn't want the hug, but she couldn't say she didn't need it. She threw her arms around Dirk's neck and pulled him in as she started to cry on his shoulder. "I miss him s-so much," she sobbed.

He rocked her gently, hand running over the back of her head as he tried to comfort the girl. He wasn't very good at this, but he tried his best. "I know it's hard. It must be really fuckin hard."

Latula cried her eyes out. And it felt good to do that. It finally felt good to just get rid of all the emotions she kept pent up inside, even the ones she hadn't even realized she'd been feeling.

Dirk held her, quietly shooshing her as he let her cry. A part of him was happy that she was finally letting down the visage and letting it go. "I'm here for you. I want you to know that. I'm not going anywhere."

Latula clutched at his shirt as she cried. The tears were stemming, slowly, but they were. She felt...safe in Dirk's arms. In a very...pale way. And she was very conflicted, on the inside. She had two kinds of red feelings running amok in her chest, and then black feelings bubbling up under the surface.

Dirk pulled back and wiped her face with his sleeve. "Wanna get out of this classroom?"

"Yes please," Latula whispered, taking her own sleeve to her face, wiping her nose on her forearm. She couldn't be alone right then.

Dirk led her away, heading out of the school. He'd go wherever she wanted right then.

Latula had no preferences. But she took Dirk's hand and leaned against him, head resting on his shoulders as she had them wander aimlessly. "Do...do you mind if we head to my place?"

He shook his head. "Not at all." He took her back to his car, the two of them hopping in and driving away.

Latula had tired herself out with all that crying. There was nothing else on her mind besides heading home and curling up in bed. Maybe with Dirk right beside her. The idea really felt...right. "Will you come in with me?" she asked as they got to the gates, ready to tell the gatekeeper to let them in.

Dirk quirked an eyebrow, but he complied. Following the girl into her lavish estate once again and climbing the stairs to we room.

Once they were in her room, Latula kicked off her shoes and sat at the edge of her bed before completely collapsing, sprawled out. "Will...you sleep with me for a while?" She didn't want to do anything, she just wanted him to curl up beside her and she could be warm and not so lonely for a bit.

He was hesitant, but he complied, toeing off his shoes and removing his tie and shirt; didn't want them wrinkled. He climbed into her bed and lay on his back, inviting her to curl up against him.

Latula didn't bother shedding her big suit, curling up against Dirk and nuzzling him. It was nice to finally be able to just...relax. It felt nice to be in bed with Dirk, but with no sense of sexuality between them. it was intimate, but very...pale.

Dirk soon felt his lids droop as he lay there with Latula. It was amazing how much their relationship had changed over the last 3 weeks. He'd never thought he'd have gotten even remotely close to a student, but here they were. As he fell asleep he couldn't help but think that maybe it wasn't so bad.

Latula was conked out almost immediately. With someone there to keep her in check and from falling out of bed or to keep her warm, to give her a break from loneliness. She slept well, for the first time in a while.

**o()o()o**

Everyone was out of the house, all save for a lone mixmaster who was busy dropping ill beats in his bedroom. He'd been waiting for today all week with anticipation. Now he was just waiting for the doorbell to ring.

When the doorbell finally did ring, it rang several times. Karkat didn't like being left waiting. He practically punched the button. He was embarrassed and nervous and he wanted so badly for Dave to open the door, if not just to put his nerves at ease.

Dave pulled the door open, looking between his teacher and the doorbell. "Come on in. Just gotta grab my shoes."

Karkat followed Dave in and nervously looked around. They were going on a date. An actual date. And it terrified him. A little. Okay, a lot. A lot, a lot.

Jaspers and Mutini were staring down Karkat as Dave went to get his shoes. Jaspers growled and hissed, puffing up before absconding deeper into the house.

"Alright, let's go." Dave was tugging on his shoe as he approached His date. _His date._ He really liked the sound of that.

Karkat was a little freaked out by that cat. "Uh...I think a furbeast just yelled at me." He wasn't sure he liked that. He had never really liked any furbeasts anyway. "But, what the fuck ever, are we going? Where are we going?"

"Jaspers doesn't like strangers." Dave explained as he locked the door. "And I suggest we head somewhere we won't get caught."

"O-oh." That was...oddly exciting. "I mean- dammit. Well, why don't we just wander out twenty miles out of town and go sit on the bridge like teenage girls who can't get laid?"

Dave grinned, "You go there often, then?" He took Karkat's hand and dragged him to his older counterpart's car. "Come on then, we can stop for food on the way."

Karkat didn't like the sass. But he started driving them out to a nearby fastfood restaurant, ordering and paying and getting all their food before he took them instead to a park on the opposite end of their town, hoping that no one from their school district would see them. "How's this, douchebag?"

Dave got out and looked around. He hadn't been all the way down here since he and Rose were just a couple of rug rats. "It's nice actually. Brings back memories."

"That's...nice. I don't really have many memories of this place." For good reason. Karkat was from out of state, he had grown up in an entirely different town- as did most trolls his age. That was all changing now and people moved and bred other places, humans and trolls alike.

"You know, um..." Dave scuffed his foot in the dirt a tad, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down awkwardly. "I'm glad you agreed to come out with me."

Karkat swung his legs back and forth where they sat looking over the park and occasionally taking bites of his cheeseburger. After swallowing a big bite, he nodded and concurred, "I am too. Fucknuts."

Dave smiled before hopping up next to Karkat and leaning his back against Karkat's shoulder. "I'm still waiting for my special hat by the way."

"Oh, trust me, you'll get your special hat..." Karkat muttered some indignant curses beneath his breath as he shoved his face into the cheeseburger, cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. Despite the tough facade he was putting on, he was actually very anxious and embarrassed. What else could he do? To make this more like a real date?

Dave looked up at Karkat who was just sitting like a lump of grumpy awkwardness. He reached up and gently took a lock of his hair between his fingers, tugging a bit. "Hey...look at me."

Karkat jerked slightly, but did look over at Dave, cheeks red beneath his grey skin. "What do you want, Strider?" he muttered, having some serious doubts about what he planned on doing next. But...

Dave had to stretch up a bit before he could get their lips to connect. He poked his tongue out and took a taste of Karkat's lips, grinning a bit. They tasted like ketchup.

Karkat practically shrieked as he was kissed. He slapped Dave and covered his face, trembling. "Y-you assface..." He seemed upset over the fact that Dave had been the one to initiate the kiss more than the kiss itself. "I'm older I'm supposed to make the first move!"

"Oww, then do so!" He rubbed the spot where he'd been slapped. "Don't hit me just cause you're awkward or embarrassed, you obtuse—" Dave growled, mumbled to himself. "Whatever."

Karkat had to shut him up somehow. He grabbed Dave by the face and smashed their mouths together, eyes squeezed together as their lips touched nervously.

Dave startled, almost falling off his perch before he relaxed, kissing Karkat back. His eyes slipped shut as he shifted, twisting around so he could get more comfortable.

Karkat would normally hate to be one of those obnoxious couples that made out in public, but he had to say... It was nice. It felt good to have someone to kiss so...excitedly.

Dave pulled away for a moment, food long forgotten and situated himself in Karkat's lap. There. Perfect. He gripped Karkat's shirt as he leaned in to kiss him again.

Karkat was undeniably embarrassed, but he didn't deny Dave any further kisses. He initiated quite a lot of them. He moaned softly and pulled away, gasping for air. "F-fuck...should we...go somewhere? My car? Bathroom?"

Dave grinned as he shifted in Karkat's lap, pants growing tight. "Whichever is closer." He murmured against Katkat's lips before sliding off him all together, taking his hand and dragging him away.

Karkat jumped to his feet and started yanking Dave to the car. The bathrooms were closer, but honestly he would much rather have sex in his car than a public bathroom.

Dave looked around, pleased to see that the parking lot was nearly desolate. Karkat's windows weren't terribly tinted, but the thought of getting caught was just...so exciting.

The back door was opened and Karkat threw Dave in before closing it after he crawled in. "Fuck...okay, Strider, how are we doing this?"

Dave lay back in the back seat, tugging Karkat down after him. "Getting naked sounds like a good first step."

Karkat flushed in embarrassment, but did start to pull his clothes off. His bulge was peeking out from between his folds, shyly wriggling and ready to get to action. "What position, dumbnuts?

"Whatever's comfortable, jesus fucking christ this isn't rocket science." Dave countered as he slipped his shirt off before slipping out of his pants. "Just fuck me!"

"Dammit, shut up, I'm trying to get us in a good goddamn position!" Dave was making this harder than it had to be. He groaned and nervously started to rub between his legs, bulge gladly wiggling out and twisting in the air.

Dave watched as he reached down to stroke his own hardening cock, his hole fluttering in anticipation as he swallowed nervously. The car was already starting to feel warm and steamy and they hadn't even started.

Karkat pushed Dave's legs up and pressed his bulge against Dave's shaft, moaning softly. He tried to rub his nook against Dave's cock, without actually putting it inside, but he just ended up doing some weird rub on his balls. "Ew, those things feel gross"

"Says the one with the freaky alien vagina." Dave countered as he threw his arms around Karkat's neck, pulling him in for a deep, rough kiss.

"Excuse you but you house your fucking testicles _outside_ your body! How the hell are you supposed to protect them, hm? Someone could easily rip those things off you! Mine are _inside_ my body. No one is getting at them." Karkat groaned and rolled his eyes. "What the fuck ever..." He tried not to dwell on it, instead, taking his bulge and guiding it to Dave's hole, nervously watching it go in.

"Why are you always so fucking diffic— _haaa!"_ Dave gripped tight at Karkat's shoulders as his ass stretched to accommodate the bulge. "Ahhh, fuck..."

"You were saying, Strider?" Karkat harrumphed and shook his head, groaning as he pushed their hips together, his bulge delving deep inside him.

"You're fucking difficult!" he mumbled between gasps and curses. Hands desperately searching for something to grab hold of found purchase on Karkat's horns, gripping the nubby little things as he pulled his lover close.

Karkat yelped as his sensitive horns to yanked, but tried to ignore it and instead leaned down to kiss Dave, smacking their lips together awkwardly. It felt...nice. But he was still embarrassed and nervous.

Dave felt his body relax as Karkat kissed him. A week ago he wouldn't have dreamed this possible. He'd thought that teacher student relationships were the stuff of cheap cinema, adding a bit of one-dimensional drama to the plot. This was a million times better than he would've thought possible.

Karkat's thoughts weren't quite as deep. They were more along the lines of 'oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck' and the occasional 'I'm gonna cum in his ass' mixed in there. Karkat didn't have a lot of success differentiating these kinds of thoughts.

As soon as Karkat's bulge twisted against his prostate, all poetic thoughts quickly vacated his mind. He threw his head back, knocking it back against the car door.

Karkat jumped slightly as Dave's head made a not so pretty noise. He decided not to dwell on it and just rolled his hips in, awkwardly grinding in deeper. One hand went down to stroke himself, moaning at the decent double pleasure he was getting.

Dave watched as Karkat fingered himself, his lips parting as he panted with pleasure. "Hey...teach...if you turn around...I could probably fuck you too..." Or at least get it inside; moving might be a bit of an issue considering his dick wasn't nearly as flexible as a bulge.

Karkat flushed at the idea, but he was more than willing to try it. "Okay, uh...fuck, how do we do this? Do we like...do some crab-dog fucking or some shit?"

"Here, turn around...I've got an idea..." Dave sat up a bit, shuddering as Karkat's bulge slipped out of him.

Karkat nervously turned around, trying to figure out what Dave was doing. He was glad Dave was taking his own needs into consideration, but if this turned into acrobatics he was nope-ing out of there.

Dave slid back down until his flushed head was brushing against Karkat's dripping nook. He pulled the man down, easing his sensitive shaft inside before spreading his legs a little more, inviting Karkat's bulge to take him again.

Karkat's bulge took its own initiative, gladly sliding right back inside of Dave as he moaned and tossed his head back, legs snapping shut around Dave's waist. It was amazing, just how flexible they could get when they were determined.

The dual sensation was driving Dave wild. He let out a shuddered moan as he tried to buck up into Karkat. He came with a cry, spilling his seed inside Karkat's nook. But even after coming, his dick didn't go down. It was ready for round two before the first round had even ended. "Shit..." he whimpered as he rocked his hypersensitive cock inside the troll.

"Hahhh...hahhhh..." Karkat moaned and mewled with every thrust, eyes rolling back in his head. The feel of Dave's semen inside of him was what set him off, spraying his ridiculous amount of genetic material in Dave's ass, but most of it ending up on his seats. "FUCK!"

Dave arched and writhed as the warm fluids filled him. His entire body was shaking as he came for the second time inside the tight walls. "Ahh-Aaahhhh~" he grit his teeth, "fuuuuck, Karkat...."

Karkat's orgasm was enough to knock him out. He collapsed, going completely limp and groaning loudly. He was going to die if this kind of pleasure kept up.

Dave was right behind him, passing out in the back seat of his teacher's car. Not the most comfortable place to fall asleep, but he really didn't care in that moment.

Karkat didn't wake up until there was a knocking on his window. He awkwardly sat up and rolled it down just a crack, shrieking as there was a police officer behind the window. Of course, he wasn't in any real trouble. It had just been noticed the car hadn't moved in a few hours. It was already dark out.

Dave had somehow slid onto the floor, completely out of view from the officer. If he'd been spotted, Karkat could've been in a shitload of trouble right then. He was only roused from his slumber when he heard the knocking. "What's going on?" He mumbled as he shifted.

Karkat kicked him to keep him quiet, awkwardly explaining that he had fallen asleep in his car and would head home right away. Once the officer was out of the way he rolled the window back up and jumped into the driver's seat, still naked.

Once Dave felt the car start moving, he got up from the floor and slid back into his pants, having been unable to locate his underwear. "Fuck, what time is it?"

Karkat had to check the time on his phone, already skidding off to get to Dave's house. "Eight at night. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkkk!" How could they have slept for five hours? ...Then again, that sex was amazing.

Dave slumped in his seat, groaning with disdain. He wasn't so worried about what his bro was gonna do to him for not letting anyone know he'd be gone; Bro didn't give a shit. It was Jane's lecture and Rose's persistent questioning he was more worried about. But that afternoon had most definitely been worth it.

Karkat awkwardly stopped in front of Dave's house. "I'm not very fucking decent so I can't bring you to the door... Do you have your clothes?"

Dave reached back and grabbed his shirt. "Might be better if you didn't anyway." There were already enough rumors about his brother; he didn't need any more about Karkat or himself. "If you find my boxers, you can keep them," he smirked, leaning in and pressing his lips to Karkat's before whispering, "as a memento." He pulled on his shirt and slipped out of the car.

Karkat started to curse as Dave got out of the car. He sped away as quickly as possible, not wanting anyone to recognize his car. He left Dave to lead his own life, going home to take a shower and mope into his pillow. And possibly lament on all the awesome sex he was missing out on with Dave.

Dave stepped into his house, looking around tentatively. Delicious aromas were coming from the kitchen as usual, and the TV was blaring in the living room. That should be enough noise to slip inside unnoticed. Though, really, a part of him had just wanted to stay with Karkat, spend their Saturday night screwing like rabbits.

"Dave? You're home late! What's up?" Unlucky for Dave, John was right around the corner, grinning his usual goofy smile. "I was wondering where you went?" He sniffed the air and made a face, "Peee-yuuu, you smell like sweat and shame."

Dave grinned, "No shame here, bro. This is the smell of glory. You'll understand someday."

John's comment was like a beacon to the others, they appeared seemingly from nowhere.

Jade scrunched up her face, having the same reaction as John, who was subsequently just exclaiming how he understood exactly what Dave was taking about. Kind of. Everyone either knew what Dave had done and wanted the details, or hightailed it out of there.

Dirk was the only one who didn't pry. He'd gotten back from Latula's an hour or two ago. He already knew about Dave and Karkat's relationship and didn't have any further questions.


	9. We're Gonna Be Okay

As the days passed, they turned into weeks, and eventually a couple months. Mituna was out longer than he had ever been. Latula ended up spending all her time either at the hospital on Mituna's bed, or on Dirk's couch. They had grown something of a pale relationship; an odd one at best. But it was what kept Latula from having a breakdown at this point.

At this point, the boys, Latula, and Roxy were all sitting around taking turns at a shared favorite video game. Roxy had been practically marinated in martinis but she was still somehow defeating everyone. It was then that Latula's phone rang.

Latula paused her screen and picked up her phone, in between her munching on chips, "Hello?" She noticed it was the hospital's number- she admitted she had completely forgotten about Mituna for once- and wondered what it could be. They usually just called him in cases of emergency or if he woke up.

Everyone went dead silent as a look of worry spread across the girl' face. No one wanted to interrupt her or say anything right away, so they all just stared sort of awkwardly.

"Latula," Dirk spoke gently, tone low, "is everything okay?"

Latula started to tremble as she slowly pulled the phone away from her ear, hanging up. "M-Mituna is going into surgery..." Her voice was barely above a whisper, "His body went into shock after an accidental medication overdose and- and..." And they didn't know if he would make it.

Dirk shot up and went to get his keys. Jane hurried upstairs an packed overnight bags. Quite a bit of Latula's items had wound up in their house, after all.

"Want any of us there with you Latula?" Rose asked gently as the house threw itself into a bit of a panic.

Latula got to her feet, holding her head and trembling at the idea of losing her beloved Matesprit. "No, I...I just want to be driven there and..." And left alone so she could wait outside the OR and wait for him to come out, safe and sound, maybe even awake, so she could kiss him and they would skate together, and she could finally hug him again and have him hug back. Just one more time.

Dirk had slipped on his shoes, lookin over his shoulder an catching the overnight bag as Jane tossed it down the stairs. "Latula. Grab your coat and shoes."

Latula was already ahead of him, coat in her fist and boots kicked on, running out the door towards the car. It was drizzling rain, having to pull her coat up over her head to keep from getting wet. She dropped her shades in her haste and just left them there, waiting by the car.

Dirk had trouble getting the car started, but once he did, the tires screamed as he away from the curb, making a mad dash to the hospital. He wanted to be there for Latula, but after the last time he'd seen Mituna, he thought it best to keep a bit of distance. He'd come inside for surely however.

Latula practically jumped out of the car as soon as soon as they showed up at the hospital. She ran through the halls, not even pausing to get directions, and eventually came to the waiting room outside the OR. She immediately asked the lady at the nearby desk when Mituna would be out of surgery, but she didn't get a definite answer. And so, defeated, she sat down on one of the couches.

Dirk was up a few minutes later, the overnight bag slung over his shoulder. He set it down beside Latula. "Blanket, pillow, clothes, snacks, toothbrush, and toothpaste. Jane was thorough." He say down beside her. "I'll leave when he wakes up."

Latula could only muster a shrug and shakily reached for the blanket, pulling it around herself. She could use that right about now. She took several deep breaths and rested against Dirk. "They don't know when he'll be out...or even if he'll wake up... I'm scared."

Dirk wrapped his arms around her, pulling the blanket up over himself as well. Hospitals were always cold as fuck. He sighed, "Only time will tell Latula. Mituna's strong, though. I'm sure he'll make it through.

"He has to..." Mituna couldn't die. He couldn't just...not wake up. She had always put so much force into just getting him to wake up _one last time_ that she had never seen a reality with him never waking up again.

"He will wake up." Dirk assured. He took Latula's face and tilted it up to face him. "Wanna know why?"

"Why?" she whispered, shakily wiping at her teal tears. She wasn't sure if she could go on without him. She lived every day just hoping he would wake up, and then knowing he wouldn't even do that?

"Because he knows you're here waiting for him. And he's about as likely to leave you behind as you are to leave him." He kissed the top of her head, ruffling her hair a bit. "If you want to get some sleep I'll stay up and let you know of anything happens."

Nodding, Latula took several deep breaths and rest her head against Dirk's chest, hoping desperately that she would et word. She could sleep for another several hours, but eventually the rain pattering on the roof and the windows lulled her to sleep.

It was past 4 in the morning by the time they finally got word. Mituna was stable, but the hemorrhage he'd suffered from in his brain was a major concern. They'd done all they could. Only time would tell now. "Latula." Dirk gently shook her shoulder, trying to rouse her from slumber.

Latula grunted as she was woken, rubbing at her eyes and listening intently to the news they had gotten. She started to cry again. She was going to lose him. She could feel it in her bones, deep down, she could _tell_ she was going to lose him. She just started to cry into Dirk's shoulder again, shaking and sobbing.

Dork didn't know anything for sure, so he said nothing. He had no way of knowing that everything was going to be okay, and he just felt worse that he'd been the one to put the boy into this long-lasting coma in the first place.

Latula eventually ran out of tears, but it lasted a while. She watched as they eventually rolled Mituna out on a gourney, taking him to the ICU. She lied and said they were siblings so she could see him, running in by his side, a medical mask over her face and holding his hand as she watched the heart monitor.

The heart monitor sped up a touch as Latula's hand intertwined with Mituna's. He was in such terrible pain, but then there was that little spot of warmth. Against all the world he'd fight for that warmth.

Latula spent all night beside him. She hadn't thought to grab any of the items that Jane had packed for her and Dirk, wondering if she should go out and get some. But Dirk had probably left already, and she wouldn't leave Mituna, not like how he was.

The overnight bag skidded across the floor, stopping beside Latula's feet. Dirk wouldn't dare go inside, and instead decided to just go home.  He wasn't needed there anymore.

Latula looked over at him and contemplated saying something, but figured the best she could do for him right then was just be there for Mituna. She settled down with her blankets and snacks, still holding Mituna's hand. She wouldn't let go, not until his heart stopped for good.

The body stirred slightly, the heartbeat rising for a moment before slowing down again, Mituna's body once again going still. He was fighting so hard to wake up, wanting to leave this darkness and head to where he was sure it'd be better.

Latula gasped as she felt his hand twitch. She sat up straight, both hands grasping for his hand, watching the monitor. He started to tremble. Was he going to wake up? Would she be able to kiss him one last time, and be able to get a kiss back?

Mituna's body shuddered, his lids fluttered, but they didn't open. His heartbeat was steadily rising, pumping away like mad. He could sense her there, but it was like he was lost and needed to find the way out.

Latula trembled, clambering up into the bed beside him and cupping his cheeks. She leaned down, pressing their lips together gently. She thought maybe if she kissed him he would wake up. A silly thought, but she just wanted this situation to be a fairy tale for once. She wanted Mituna to wake up from his sleep after being given a warm kiss. She wanted her sleeping beauty to finally wake up.

Mituna shot up, knocking heads with Latula before falling back with a garbled yelp. It was considerably less romantic than sleeping beauty, but it was 100% Mituna. His head was throbbing, but thoughts were coming a little more clearly than usual. "La...Laltulta?

Latula gasped as he spoke. She gripped his cheeks and startedd to kiss him all over. "Baby, baby, baby, baby!" she cried out in delight, grabbing the little button that called for the nurses and pressing it at least ten times. She kissed his cheeks and his nose and ruffled his hair and cried on his shoulder. He was awake, and he recognized her...there was nothing more she could ask for.

"What...happened?" His mind was a fog as he tried to figure out what was going on. "Where the fuck am I?" He looked down at his girl, not understanding why she was crying. He took her in his arms and held her. "What the fuck's goin on?"

Latula couldn't stop crying. he was having _coherent_ thoughts, he could talk without stammering and repeating his words, he was _there_. She kissed him all over and squeezed him tight against her chest. "Oh, baby, I missed you much, but you're back...you're back..."

"Back?" He chuckled nervously, "Babe what're you talking about?" He looked around the hospital room. "What am I doing at the hospital?" The more he tried to remember, the more his head hurt.

"Shh, don't think about it... Just don't think about it." She held his head close to her chest, sandwiched between her breasts. She stroked his hair and cried even harder. It had taken a medication mishap and a damn _hemorrhage_ just to bring him back to her. And she was so greatful.

"Heh heh, your boobs are bigger than I remember." He groped them shamelessly. "Damn, how long was I out for?" He cupped her face, "I'm alright, Tula."

Latula wasn't at all surprised by these turns of events, and laughed. She leaned down and kissed him on the lips as finally the nurses started to come in, surprised by how quickly Mituna had woken up. "Baby, the nurses are going to do some tests, okay?"

"Tests? What the fuck for? What the hell's going—erghg..the hell's....what the..THE FFFUCKTHFTHH?" He gripped his head before the nurses lay him back down, running routine tests to make sure he was okay. They gave him a mild sedative; they wanted him as stress free as possible.

Latula slid onto the chair and watched as they did their tests on him. She was worried that this was only a passing phase and he would slip right back into that brain-dead shadow of himself.

As Mituna calmed down, he was able to return to a much more stable frame of mind, not remembering his relapse. "Shit, Latula, what the fuck'th wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong, baby." She reached out to grasp his hand, smiling softly to him. "Nothing is wrong anymore."

"But what happened to me? Why am I here? How long have a been here!" He was getting annoyed and increasingly concerned that his questions weren't being answered.

Latula was nervous, not sure how he would react if she told him. "You've been here for almost a sweep..." she whispered, biting her bottom lip as she squeezed his hand nervously. "You've been...in and out of comas for a while."

Mituna sat back, his fluffy dark hair hiding his eyes. "A whole thweep..." and he had absolutely no memory of it. "Babe, come here." He opened his arms and inviting her close.

Latula gladly crawled onto the bed, into his arms, sighing softly. "Whenever you woke up...you weren't yourself. You were...scattered."

"Shut up." He interrupted, burying his face in her hair as he shook a little. "A whole thweep...I left you for a whole fuckin thweep and in the mean time I wath jutht thome...fucking whack job retard."

Latula tilted her head up to kiss him. "You're here now... And you never left me bored when you were awake. You said that no matter what you could hear my talking, like it was through a tunnel..."

Mituna groaned at the totally lame analogy his inner retard had come up with. "I don't wanna talk about it." He kissed her back. "I just wanna bury my face in your boobs and go back to sleep.”

Latula laughed and gladly allowed him to do that. "After a week of keeping you here they might discharge you." It looked like Mituna had recovered miraculously!

"After keeping me here a year, they better fuckin discharge me. If not we're breaking out." He grinned, kissing her cheek before getting comfortable against her chest. "Heh, nice."

"We've broken out plenty of times before, I doubt the ladies at the front desk would even object to me taking you out at this point." But Latula wouldn't take him out- she didn't know if he was really going to be with her for long. she had learned a lot from their last encounter.

"Really?" It didn't surprise him that he didn't remember, but, "So people actually saw me? How embarrassing." He nuzzled back into Latula's chest, letting out a yawn.

"Don't worry...they'll get to see the new and improved you all the sooner." She stroked his hair and started to hum. "Why don't you nap, babe? Then tomorrow we can run out and have lunch together."

He grunted in agreement, the anesthesia from before quickly putting him out. He snored gently as he slept against his mate, never had he been more grateful to have her.

Latula spent the night beside him, and wondered if she should text Dirk. She pulled out her phone and sent him a quick text. Just 'He's awake'.

Dirk read the text, smiling a tad before delivering the good news to his nosy family members. He texted Latula that he was pleased to hear he was awake and that they'd talk tomorrow.

Latula ended up sleeping soundly right beside Mituna. And in the morning, she decided she would take him out and take him out to lunch. She snuck him past the front desk and out into the parking lot. "Where do you wanna go, babe?"

"Your place." He wobbled, his equilibrium still off. "I want you to make something." He'd been eating through a tube for a year, and only getting shitty hospital food when he was awake.

Latula grinned and pulled him along. They hitched a busride to get close to her gated community and let them in, taking them into the big house and then she started to reheat some leftovers that her guardian had left her in the fridge. "Want reheated pizza, babe?"

"Is it from Casey's?" He could never say no to Casey's pizza. He sat down at the kitchen table, gripping his head a bit. He definitely shouldn't be walking around just yet, but he didn't care.

"Mhm, where else?" Latula grinned and reheated the pizza, then sat down with him, brow furrowing. "Something up, babe?"

"Head hurts... Think I'm gonna...go lie down." He held the wall as he walked, heading towards the living room.

Latula peered after him, but went to get the pizzas as the microwave beeped. She found him on the couch and sat down beside him, grinning wide. "Hey, babe... How about after food we have some fun. It's been a long time."

He grinned up at her. "If you're okay with doing most the moving." He reached out and stroked her hip. "Besides, I love watching your tits bounce when you ride me." Ever the gentleman.

"You've gotta finish your pizza first," Latula replied with a grin, handing him the plate. "Then I will, with a smile on my face. Eat it, dork."

He chuckled his nasally laugh, taking a bite of the nuked pizza. He never thought he'd ever be that happy to eat day old pizza. "You know...you're really awesome for staying with me through everything. Like, really awesome. I mean how many chicks stick around for their brain dead matesprits. So, uh, thanks for being really fucking rad."

Latula couldn't help but swell with pride. "Of course I stayed with you, I love you more than anything." Just because he was going through hard times it didn't mean she should bail out on him. "Things like that are when chicks should stick around the most."

"Not everyone would though." Mituna finished off his pizza, letting out a satisfied sigh before settling back on the couch.

Latula finished up her own slice of pizza, and then promptly straddled her Matesprit, shedding her suit and giving him a fresh look at her naked body as she grinned, cocky and sure of herself, down at him.

His bulge was the first to actively react, pushing up against his clothing. "Shhhiiit...your hips...your tits... You look great babe..." He placed his hands on her hips, running up her sides before sliding back down, holding firm as he ground up against her.

"A lot can change in half a sweep." Not that much had really changed about her... Maybe a couple added points around the hips, around her breasts, one cup size... But there was no drastic change. "But you're right, I do look rad."

"Think my bulges got any bigger?" He smirked cockily, sliding out of his suit and slipping his bulges out, watching them writhe against each other.

"It doesn't matter if they did, you're still twice the man anyone else is," Latula giggled as she gripped both of them, her own bulge twisting into the fray, tangled up in the two others.

One of his bulges wrapped around hers, squeezing it, milking her bulge. His other flickered over her nook, slithering between her dripping lips.

Latula gasped, high-pitched and loud as the tip of his bulge slid inside of her easily. "Ohhh..." She threw her head back, hips starting to move on their own despite how Mituna's bulge was moving on its own. "Oh, baby, fuck...I missed this so much..."

Mituna groaned, reaching up and groping her breasts, taking her nipples between his fingers and pinched, twisting them the slightest bit and giving them a slight tug. "You're so tight, Tula..."

Latula mewled, every pinch on her teal nipples giving a little jolt of electricity. "Mmm... 'Cause no one else has touched it, baby." That almost...hurt to say. But it was better that Mituna didn't know anything- after all, if it wasn't in kismesis feelings with Dirk then how could she justify herself?

He grinned, chuckling perversely as his other bulge poked at her bulge, trying to wiggle its way inside.

Latula spread herself out wider, moaning as she ground down on him, her own bulge seeking out his nook and plunging inside with a trembling shudder. "Oh, baby," she mewled, eyes rolling back in her think pan.

"Ahhhh fuuck!" He groaned, walls tightening around her as his nook was suddenly plundered. "Shit that's good..."

Latula's legs tightened around his waist as she rocked down on him, entire body doing all the movement for her. Her breasts swung with every movement awkwardly and she had to put an arm over them to keep from getting in the way. She couldn't help but flush at that, thinking it was slightly embarrassing.

Mituna pulled her arm away. He loved watching them move and jiggle. He leaned up, taking one teal bud between his lips and giving a suck.

Latula moaned was he did so, cradling his head and arching her back, thrusting into his mouth. "Oh, b-babe...hahh... Mitzy, it feels so good, come on, harder!"

The twin bulges curled and thrust inside Latula's leaking nook, spreading her wide and fucking her fast and hard. He bit at her neck and shoulder, leaving behind dark hickeys that'd be sure to last at least a week. He was starting to leek dark yellow pre deep inside her as his own nook grew tighter.

Latula was the first to come, bursting inside her Matesprit and filling him up to the brim. Most of it leaked out around her bulge, staining the couch beneath them.

Feeling the warmth spread inside him pushed Mituna over the edge. With a garbled cry, he came, exploding I side his mate and filling her to the bursting point. Exhausted, he fell back, bringing Latula with him. "Holy...holy fuck..."

Latula yelped as she was filled up. There was always twice as much as anyone else could give, what with Mituna being...gifted. She couldn't help but laugh as she collapsed on top of him, kissing him all over. "Mmm... Amazing."

"Now that I've eaten and I've fucked, my body's telling me it's time to sleep." he grinned up at Latula before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Should we head up to the bedroom?" Latula mused out loud, yawning and snuggling up close against her matesprit. She felt...picture perfect right then.

"Naw, I'm good here." He wrapped an arm around her, pulling the blanket that hung over the back of the couch down over the two of them.

Latula grinned and cuddled up underneath his arm, purring as she laid her head on his chest. "I'm so glad we get to do things like this again." Pailing on the couch and eating reheated pizza? Best memories she would cherish.

"Me too, Tula." He kissed the top of her head several times before finally settling. Mituna knew that he was by far the luckiest man in the world, and that it was the love of his matesprit, his wonderful, amazing, beautiful, and totally rad matesprit that kept him alive for the past year. "You are amazing." he whispered as she slept, "You are truly amazing."

"No, you are. I just stood there and cheered from the sidelines. You were the one fighting the good fight." Latula pecke his cheek and took several deep breaths. "I love you."

He didn't want to argue against her. He wasn't amazing, but he smiled regardless. "I love you too."

Over the next several weeks, Latula and Mituna were inseperable. She seemed overall happier and upbeat, spinning rad moves with Mituna all over school. He had to be placed in special tutoring sessions because of everything he'd missed, but over all everything was goin well with him.

Dirk and Latula didn't speak much anymore, and she didn't frequent their house hardly at all, but their relationship was as strong and pale as ever. They'd give each other knowing looks during class, affirming whether things were all going okay or of they needed to have a moment during a free period.

Unfortunately, they had to keep their relationship on the down low. Mituna was still prone to fits every now and again whenever he was put under stress.

But whenever those fits were prominent, Latula would stick by him. And whenever they cooled down, she would go to Dirk to blow off steam, either playing video games with him or just talking, all sorts of things that she was more than happy to participate in. It was a very healthy Pale relationship.

Dave and Karkat's relationship, which had miraculously remained secret, seemed dysfunctional as always from the outside. What with Dave's tendency to tease and Karkat's natural ability to hit where it hurt most, they actually got along surprisingly well. It undoubtedly helped that neither one of them were able to say much during their mind numbing sexual escapades, which probably explains why they were so incredibly active sexually.

Despite how sensitive Karkat seemed to be, in reality he was thick skinned and took all of Dave's teasings in stride. Of course he tended to overreact, and ham it up a little too much. But it didn't really stop anything; he and Dave still had amazing sex. Which was probably why he continued to overreact and play it up. He liked that all those situations lead to sex.

The past year had been a crazy tangled mess, filled with emotions that ranged all over the map. The delicate, fiery dance of complex relationships had slowed to an easy waltz, and for once, everyone was contended, more so than words could describe. Everyone that had begun their year in trepidation and lonely tears saw it end in happiness and I love you's, and they couldn't have asked for anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONE we finished this story over a year ago and i was just being shit about uploading it but its finally done. Yee


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